Forgive me, for this post is delayed….
I intended on posting this the day after Mother’s Day, but I didn’t, because my heart was too full in a good and sad way.
Every year is different, and I didn’t know how I’d feel this year. I try not to take holidays seriously in general, so I didn’t think I’d be affected. I chose not to participate in the family’s Mother’s Day gathering because I felt as though I had no reason to be there. As negative as that sounds, I truly felt that way. My closest bestie cousin told me that everyone missed me, and was asking about me. That was surprising, because I’m always around, I just wasn’t up for it. They couldn’t understand how I feel, and I expect that, it’s been this way since she passed away. I admitted to myself that the things that haven’ t been settled or completed yet, make me feel sad and disappointed. It takes away from the comforting memories that float through my mind. I thought about what the most important lessons I learned from her, and how much I miss having a regular conversation with her. I thought about how much I’ve grown and I understand even more the reasons behind certain lessons. Her strict methods and explanations have never left me.
One of her most important lessons, if not thee most important lesson that she taught by example, is establishing a daily routine, having structure and boundaries. It has helped me navigate through rough and trying times. It has protected me from the stresses of this world, like a shield. I don’t know where I’d be without it, I wouldn’t have made it this far.
I have much more to say RE routine, structure and boundaries in life, but I have to go sleep now. Good night and Good morning😊, catch you in my next blog!