The🦋Butterfly Dream…..

Day by day I practice telling my mind, to instruct my body to let the stress go. To simply release the negative thought or feeling and put it out, not let it manifest for more than thirty seconds. I remind myself that I do not have control over everything, and in time it’ll work out.

When I’m feeling unsure or insecure about a change, my dreams will often reflect those feelings. The other night I had a short dream about a colourful butterfly that was flying all around the house. It was actually the fam’s new pet, an exotic pet a strange but pleasant surprise. In the last scene the butterfly became injured some way. I told my family, and the called a vet to the house who mended the wound. I was relieved as I watched the beautiful butterfly get back to flying again. When I awoke I felt calm and satisfied. I felt a sense of peace and reassurance remembering my dream. I looked up the symbol of a butterfly in the dream dictionary, and it all made sense. There has been a string of misfortunes we’ve all been affected by, so I shared my dream with my family. I told them that the dream was a little strange, but was good for us all. I’m headed in the right direction, better yet we’re headed in the right direction!

Good Night and Good Sleep:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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(It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy) What You Can Do💔😒😔…..

Continuing…..

We shouldn’t wait until a person is at their worst, or passed on, to do for them what they’ve done for us. If you love them, as much as you they love you, be that love they gave. The courage and strength to do so, will come through you, if you allow it to.

I never in a million years, thought that I would be considered the “strong” one in the bunch after mom passed away. I am not by any means weak, but I didn’t intend on being that kid. I simply drew on the strength that my mother always told me that I had inside. I felt closer to who she really was, and that I encompass more of her traits than I thought. It wasn’t easy to see my mother change through the years, and become someone different as she dealt with her inner pain. She went from having a natural serene facial expression, to a not so happy face. Many people couldn’t accept the change, and I found that dehumanizing. She deserved to be not happy all of the time, nobody is always happy or nice. I have learned that no matter how much a person does good by others, they may not receive back all that they gave. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I hate to say this, but I have witnessed the worst behavior from the people who were given the most! It forced me to realize that your value may go down, once you are not able to give what people expect of you.

Picture yourself in that hospital bed, or that even that casket, what would you want, or expect your loved ones to do on your behalf?? It would hurt to see them make it all about them wouldn’t it?

This subject is quite depressing, but I hope you took away something from this post.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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🙄A Friend Request…..

You were never the shy type, always outspoken, never mincing words when speaking your mind. I admired that about you. I actually thought you were a meaner dude, until I got the chance to get to know you. You were definitely not who they say you were. Throughout your personal struggles, your words mattered to me more than their opinions about you. I had your back through it all even though I didn’t understand your addiction. I was a trooper through it all, until I had to let go. I accepted that you were not ready to accept help and support, even from me. I had to let go, you weren’t the same person anymore, you told me. I finally accepted the truth.

Last year when you called me, I answered. We always had a genuine connection, and I dreamt you the night before out of the blue, so I knew I was going to hear from you. I could only say so much about myself, but I was delighted to tell you about the dream I had about you, it was positive. You looked healthy and happier.

I’m not sure if you got what you wanted out of our awkward conversation. I did sense that you didn’t expect me to be different. You seemed to be stuck on who you used to know.

I wasn’t bothered after hanging up, I guess because I no longer had expectations of you. It took me years and years to come to peace with who you became, and I did miss the old you.

I happened to check my Facebook and your “friend” request took me by surprise. A friend request does not change where we stand in reality but sure, I’ll add you…..

Stay tuned for my next post, Good night and Good sleep:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy😔💔😒…..

I won’t tell you that everything will be okay, because I know that life will never be the same for us if we lose him. I’m not that person who simply says to “pray” and posts prayer hands emojis all over my social media. I try not to say, “I’m sorry to hear that” because it sounds insincere, and generic. Actions speak louder than words, and what I do, what WE do collectively, can do more than you think.

As I write this, I’m laying down, fighting to keep my eyes open. I should be sleeping, but I need to share these thoughts. I recently heard disturbing news about my grandfather from my mother’s side. He’s the only grandfather that I’ve known, and we all affectionately call him “Daddy”. He is one of the only caring, consistent male figures that I’ve ever known. He actually is my step – grandpa, and I was very surprised when I found this out growing up. It didn’t matter that we aren’t blood related, but it amazed and shocked me because of the way he cared for my mother and her sisters. It was as though they were his own, and he even went the extra mile for them, helping them. He always made me feel important, even though he has tons of grandchildren. He never mixed me up with my twin sister, addressing me by my actual name.

They say, you never know when you’re gonna go, so don’t forget to tell the people around you that you love them. I’ve always agreed with this, and try to live by it. Witnessing a handful of loved ones pass away suddenly, has reinforced this reminder. Showing my appreciation on a daily basis is a daily priority in my life. It’s better than saying “I love you”, because memories of you is all they’ll have when you’re not in their presence.

I think it’s weird and wrong, that it takes a tragedy, an unfortunate occurrence to bring us together. We shouldn’t wait until a person is sick or passed on, to do for them what they’ve done for us.

I will continue in my next post. Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(Conclusion) Am I The Right Fit🤨???…..

Continuing….

I’m kinda over this….maybe I’m not fit for this anymore?? I sighed inside and listened attentively to her next question. They became easier to respond to, because I couldn’t give a “wrong” answer. I immediately became more relaxed, and began to recite responses that I usually give. I put a different spin on them, and thought, damn I’m sick of telling these stories….I always feel the need to make them “sound” interesting, so I don’t bore myself while talking. I also want to make sure they remain interested and the stories are memorable. I figure, the ten people before me may have gave a boring forgettable answer, and mine will be the best. I felt a surge of energy and I was able to answer her questions with enthusiasm. I thought to myself, this feels like an audition, they always do….

It doesn’t matter the type of work I will be doing, it doesn’t matter if the office is nicer looking than the previous. It doesn’t matter if I’ll be making a few dollars an hour more, it feels the same, and I think it’s time to stop lying to myself. The moment I knew my body had enough, my health has been affected, I’m not learning anything new, it was time to go! I’ve known this for a long enough time to allow myself to accept the truth. Sitting in that suffocating office was the slap in the face that I needed.

Back in the day I was thrilled to get a job that I thought I was more “upper class” because I considered it an improvement. I considered all the other types of work I did kind of “juvenile”. I felt as though I needed a change in pace so I’d be taken seriously as I grew older. But, when I look back at the positions I’ve held since I was fifteen, they actually did me well. I was given more responsibility, was paid better and was happier doing that type of work. I even had a few managers/supervisors give me a few raises within a short time period. They told me my positive attitude and dedication was appreciated. That made me feel good, proud and important. I even had a supervisor tell me, he knows he can leave the place in my hands because, “I won’t let the f****** place burn down”.

It’s cool to be appreciated and compensated for your genuine efforts at work. Regardless of your field, age or salary, your time is the most valuable. When I hear stories about folks who work in “high paying” positions throwing it all away due to being unhappy, I now 100% get it. I understand they accepted their true purpose instead of making excuses to remain unhappy.

I am able to adapt and learn, and fit in these new environments. Now I am taking a leap of faith and trusting my gut. I am NOT the right fit, and that’s not a bad thing.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(Part 3)Am I The🤨 Right Fit???….

Continuing…..

We’ll see how this goes!

I was not on my A-game, but I always go in with a positive attitude and calm disposition. I don’t get nervous, It’s just a conversation, but one that I hope will not last long. For some reason I was feeling claustrophobic, I felt caged in, and I wanted leave!! I wasn’t sure why…perhaps it was the size of the office, the colours or the dim lighting. All I know is that I wanted to get out of there ASAP! I tried to focus on what she was saying, and my mind scrambled for a second after her first question. This rarely happens to me! I had an answer, I did a little research, but for some reason I doubted myself. I thought that I was mixing up this place with another. I felt my words fumbled coming out of my mouth, but I heard my words clear. I was worried that I may sound unsure of myself, that’s not a good look. I tried to read her facial expression in order to determine if I was doing okay. A part of me wanted to not do well, a part of me was hoping that she thought I wasn’t “it”. I felt as though I didn’t want the position, I had a revelation at that moment. I’m kinda over this….maybe I’m not fit for this anymore?? I sighed inside and listened attentively…..

Stay tuned for my next post, and Good evening:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(Cont’d)Am I The Right Fit🤨???….

Continuing…..

Damn, I know I’m qualified but I’m most likely not going to be the right fit…..I dunno …..I hope I’m on time!

Okay, I’m not late, I got about ten minutes. Thanks bus driver, for actually answering my question, and dropping me off at the exact street. That saved me time, I know where I am now… there it is!

This place definitely looks different than I expected. I didn’t see anybody as I walked in, there was a long lunch table and no receptionist. So, this place isn’t as posh as I assumed it would be, the decor was dated. The contrast compared to my old office was night and day. I turned the corner to a wide open space and a handful of women sitting at desks spread out. I waved and said Hello to the group, as a friendly young woman approached me and introduced herself. She was the person who interviewed and had been corresponding with me. She was pleasant, and not in a fake way, which was a relief. Whew. The vibe is okay, but I try to be as low key as possible when entering a new work environment. I didn’t look too hard at anything or anybody, then I heard somebody yell out, “She’s wearing stir ups!!! Remember those!!? Don’t those bring you back to high school days?!!” I looked down at my pants feeling slightly shy, I didn’t want the unnecessary attention being that I am brand new. The dress pants I was wearing, were actually dress pants, but had the “foot band” elastic thingy. The style is 80’s inspired, and other women have pointed them out before asking where I purchased them. It was a compliment, and that’s cool, but I was definitely not trying to have my clothes be the focus. In a casual dress code office environment, I make a conscious effort to be covered and not “flashy”. Opinions about appearance are not important to me, but it can be very annoying when others focus on it more than I do. I was trying to lay as low as possible until everyone was introduced. Maybe I’m thinking too much??? Or maybe I’m at a point in my life where fitting in at work truly means absolutely nothing to me. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that no amount of money can replace the time that I may have to waste pretending.

Okay, I was just called in, it’s time to meet the Director of Operations. I’m ready, not nervous, and I’m going to be myself. Within five minutes I will know if I am meant to continue the conversation. We’ll see how this goes!

Stay tuned for the conclusion. Good night & Good Sleep!

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W