Shutdown Stress 🔐 🚫:PT 2 The Bakery 🍪 Battle😬…..

Continuing from PT 1:

I nodded with my masked face. I told her that I understand, that’s why I stand faaar back and confirm who is next. She was very upset and annoyed, and I knew there was a valid reason why. As the circle-line of customers began to grow, everybody joined the conversation. I was the odd woman out in this one, as usual. I’m not the main demographic of the neighbourhood, by any means. This elderly woman surprised me with her gumption, she had a lot to say regarding respect. She continued, telling the group that people are really “acting out” due to their frustrations with the shutdown. She added that she does not expect to see THAT type of behaviour around here. She proceeded to call out that particular Customer’s rude behaviour, pointing directly at her through through the window glass. She said, “Well THAT ONE is a problem!…” I’m not quite sure what she mumbled after that. Another customer tried to interrupt, and correct her, as though her speaking out was wrong. She remained solid in her stance, and would not allow anybody to minimize her opinion. I however, was very comfortable with the subject matter. I was glad that she was calling it out and telling the crowd that it is unacceptable. Manners are very important to me, especially in public. Manners, basic respect for your fellow man, keeps us civil on the most basic level.

I took it that she has a certain expectation from folks around here. My expectations are different. I hope for the best, but expect the worst from every, and anybody.

I started to walk away as the group grew larger, I didn’t have a lot of time left to wait. I also wasn’t in the mood to figure out who was next. I avoid crowds in general. As I was in the midst of saying, “Bye, have a nice day! The line will be a little shorter now”, I was told that I was actually next in line. I thought, Oh! Okay, I guess I’ll buy that cookie then. I decided to enter the bakery. As I walked inside, the lady asked me if I could do her the favor. She asked if I could please tell one of the staff that Helen, is outside waiting for her order. I said, “Sure! No worries.” She said Thank you. Through her masked face, I could see in her eyes that she was surprised at my enthusiastic response. If only she knew how many frustrated, impatient, confused, entitled, sarcastic, customers I deal with everyday. Coupled with shutdown and virus fears, I’ve become even more understanding. I’ve had customers attempt to go to battle with me, over the phone, before I explain the refund or freebies that I’m about to give them. It feels like folks have more pent up energy to battle over nothing, due to-quadruple- shutdown fatigue.

I’ll continue in another blog, I’m trying to go to sleep earlier tonight. Good night and Good sleep.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Shutdown Stress 🔐 🚫:The Bakery 🍪 Battle😬…..

Since the recent announcement of the fifth,( I think), “Stay-at home-order”, there’s much confusion which has put some folks on edge. At the beginning, it looked as though there were even more people outside, at the same time. For one, it’s finally spring season, despite the fall-like days. On blessed ten degree plus days, the weather brings the masses to the streets, we’re all trying to absorb some sunlight. I try my best to get out while the sun is out, and sometimes forget to anticipate crowded sidewalks. A shop that usually would have a sprinkle of people around three in the afternoon, may have three times as many people waiting outside. The lines formed on the sidewalk are confusing, as there’s not much room to form one. Sometimes folks may be defensive while trying to hold their place in line. I’m pretty laid back when it comes to these things, I simply try to keep my distance and respect others. Working from home, I’m not out outside dealing with this as much. I am thankful for that. This is a very nice neighborhood, and for what it’s worth, folks have been very polite and considerate with the lines.

I had a craving for a sugar cookie, and I can’t remember the last time that I had one. I am guilt free when I treat myself to special treat, since I’ve cut back tremendously on sweets. I saw a tray of colourful decorated cookies in the neighborhood favourite bakery, “Mabels”. They have great product selection and an awesome environment. It’s a cute, classic, very small and dimly lit shop, a classic midtown vibe, I love it. I figured I’d treat myself to one cookie, just ONE. I didn’t bother to go inside, because the line was too long and sweets weren’t my top priority. As I weaved in and out of the “Get-my-shopping-done-with- some-sunlight-while-the weather-is-still-nice” crowd, I hoped it wouldn’t be as busy later. I decided to wait until my shift, and if I still had the craving, I would get one.

On my thirty minute break, I quickly walked over and outside there was only three people waiting. I automatically did the six-feet stand back, while securing my place in the scattered circle line. A very short, small framed elderly lady began to talk to me, as strangers always do with me for some reason. She was standing close to the door looking into the window at the side. As customers slowly exited the shop, she turned to me and said, “You can’t even look inside of the window! This lady yelled at me thinking that I was trying to bud in line!Geez! People can be so ridiculous, they are really on edge! I’m just trying to see if my pickup order is ready.”

I nodded with my masked face. I told her that I understand, that’s why I stand faaar back and confirm who is next. She was very upset and annoyed, and I knew there was a valid reason why. As the circle-line of customers began to grow, everybody joined the conversation. I was the odd woman out in this one, as usual. I’m not the main demographic of the neighbourhood, by any means. This elderly woman surprised me with her gumption, she had a lot to say regarding respect. I will continue in my next post.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Do You Really Really Need It?: Ghost Town Malls👚🏬 💵 🛍 …..

Only in my dreams have I walked through a ghost town mall. I’ve had a reoccurring dream for years where I’m wandering around a large empty or messy department store. If you keep up with my blog, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I know the reason I have these dreams, and I haven’t had one in quite some time. Those Dreams rattle my spirit, and leave me feeling sorrowful as I awake. It’s been a minute since I posted, but I’ve been drafting blogs all along. This post is a wee bit late, as we here in Toronto have entered into yet another 28 day lockdown/emergency stay at home order. This is from the day, I on the outskirts of the city, for my appointment. I decided to stop off at what used to be the closest place to shop at my old stomping grounds. I’m in no way a mall type person, or one who loves to shop, just for the sake of shopping. I like to shop, but with a purpose. I always try to carry a list, and stick to it. I can not shop out of boredom, and I don’t have the money to do that anyways. Wandering around a packed mall, trying to fill a void in yourself, while wasting money, is not healthy. It’s quite zombie-like, in my opinion.

It was quite surreal entering the good ole local mall, as I walked towards it, I felt as though I was in a lucid dream. Parking lot deserted, there were only a few people in sight, three people. The mall was finally open for business, but I wasn’t excited to go inside. There were only a sprinkle of cars in sight, and no snow to mask the vast empty parking lot. I decided to stop a stranger, and ask from a distance, what was actually open inside. He was the only person in sight outside of the mall, Thankfully he was, because he polite. He confirmed that the food court was open, I was happy to hear that! I missed those good ole bean burritos, one of my favourite things about this mall.

It was actually pretty chill and relaxing walking around, like a beautiful nightmare! No crowds, clearance sales everywhere, extravagantly low prices, and quiet. I felt gratified purchasing four nice tops for under thirty bucks, after a year of restricted buying. These stores are desperately trying to get rid of inventory from last year. I actually purchased an additional top that I really didn’t really want, but the cashier accidentally included it. I had placed the top on the counter to ask about the sizing, since we’re not allowed to use the fitting rooms. I was indecisive because of the size, but before I could tell the cashier didn’t want it, she had already rang it up. I didn’t want to buy anything extra that I don’t really need. I kinda felt sorry for the store, I know they need the sale, so I didn’t refund. As I was telling the cashier how much I love and miss this store, she said they weren’t allowed to be open until now. They weren’t allowed to be open for pick up either, because the mall had been shut down for almost a year. It felt good to be able to support this store, as they provided great product and service for years.

This pandemic and slew of shutdowns, has changed my view on shopping, and spending, even MORE. Shopping is a past time for some, and therapy for many. I get it, however, saving and preserving your budget, will help you feel more secure in these unprecedented times.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Preserving Your Power & Heal Your Body🍎⚡💪🏽🔋….

Recharging your battery, preserving your energy, crucial in these times. I write this as I’m pushing past my bedtime. Taking care of your basic health will make a world of difference on your next compulsory medical visit. I say this because many of us have not, and will not see a doctor anytime soon for our yearly check up. The cost of a medical visit has changed drastically within a year, and not just the price. We can not afford to go to a medical clinic or hospital, unless it’s absolutely necessary. There’s too many people in line, and too many folks who are in desperate need of medical attention, especially the elderly.

As I continue to add to this blog, it’s 12:15am, and I’m supposed to be getting ready to go to bed. I’m trying to get a little more sleep than usual, because my body needs it. I recently had a major dental procedure, and I’m trying to give my body the extra rest it requires in order to heal quicker. I think I’m healing pretty well so far, it hasn’t been a full week yet. I’ve followed protocol, and did what the dentist’s paper instructions told me to. I’m not in pain, Thankfully, but I am experiencing normal discomfort, adjusting to the change in my mouth. It has been challenging eating though, not just with food choice, but being restricted to one side of my mouth. The good thing is, my daily diet is mostly comprised of what I need to eat, so I’m okay with pea soup for a week or so.

I’m actually about to eat a cup of sugar-free apple sauce. I haven’t had apple sauce in years, now it’s one of the only things that I can eat. I’m craving the taste and crunch of a solid sweet apple, love to be able to bite into one right now! Teeth really are a blessing, and I do believe we take our teeth for granted. My urge to eat a chewy candy has slowly diminished, and I’ve cut back even more since the procedure. The thought of the sticky sweets being stuck in between my teeth scares me! I only have half of my mouth to chew. I need to preserve the half of my mouth that I still can use. I will never look at candy the same again.

I took this pic on an unusually warm beautiful evening, on the way to my favourite neighbourhood fruit market. I was going to purchase some bananas and avocados. Two fruits that are soft enough to chew for sure. Good thing that I love them and eat them everyday anyways.

I’ve go more to share on this topic, but I’ll save it for my next post. Good night and Good sleep.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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PT2 About That Dream 💭: The Dream I Didn’t Share About Mom…. ⏳ 👩🏿 🌹

I had a dream in December that I felt compelled to share, but didn’t. I had the draft unfinished in my folder since December. I decided I should share it, and it felt good to share my last dream. I appreciate the likes and positive feedback. I especially appreciate that people actually took the time to read it. I know it will not bring me closure, but I do feel better, stronger, and lighter when I share these type of dreams. So, here goes:

It was a pleasant dream, only because of the way she appeared, and how she looked. I left the paragraph in draft status, and added a few details here and there.The dream had a double meaning, and I put two and two together. It left me feeling somber. I had just had an awkward and heated exchange with the “group” I’ll call them. We were on the porch of an old house that I had never seen in my life. I was standing alone on one side, as the group was on the opposite side. As I walked towards them, I was stopped, and repelled by a swift arm motion by one of them. It felt like a magnet repelling another magnet. I was being pushed away, rejected, repelled. I stayed back, didn’t even question it. Then I turned and ran away. I ran away to find somewhere to hide. I wanted to get away.

I ended up in some room then my mother suddenly appeared in the doorway. She stood in the arch, glowing. My mother looked so beautiful, and she was glowing so bright. I loved the fabric, and the pattern of her hair scarf. Her hair was wrapped perfectly, it was perfectly symmetrical. She looked regal. She spoke a few words to me in a casual tone, but I was not focused her words. I was just happy and relieved to see her. I do not remember exactly what she said. I felt safe, I felt as though she came to back me up, to reassure me that it was okay. She understands what my mission was. I felt as though I had an alibi…

I woke up feeling sombre, yet relieved to have seen her again. I was holding on the snapshot of mom and her beauty and beautiful energy. I knew the meaning of the dream, but I felt sad and powerless.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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About That Dream 💭 :Paper 📄 Thin, Holding On💔…..

I apologize for the delay, I meant to post days ago, but have been preoccupied and could not seem to complete a blog. I had a dream about my mother a few nights ago that I feel compelled to share with you, although it was difficult for me to come to grips with. The dream was short, and I couldn’t remember the begin or middle but I could remember the end. You ever have those dreams that seem as though they only last a few seconds long, right before you wake up? Those Dreams stick with me the whole day, and I make sure that I look into them, especially if the subject was meaningful.

As much as I try to be transparent and share my dreams to the best of my ability, I feel very vulnerable doing so. Dreams don’t always make sense, and making sense of them while sharing them with the world, is scary. There’s always the fear of being misunderstood. Anyways, this was my dream:

I was in the kitchen, in our house. Mother was telling me that she wanted us kids to do a chore, that we did not do. I was hugging her, hugging her tightly, and she spoke to me. For some reason, I was hugging her tight, but she wasn’t herself, her “real” self. She was just a paper thin figure, but it didn’t make a difference to me, because as I could feel her energy. I knew it was her, I could feel her soul. I was holding onto her energy, her caring nature, her kindness her laid back disposition, the traits of her I miss the most. As I told her, sorry, you’re right mom, we should’ve done as you said, I woke up, still squeezing….I realized I was trying to hold on for dear life to her energy, then I felt sad.

I’ve never had a dream like that before, but I know exactly why I had it. I miss my mom, but it’s more than that. I long for the closure of knowing that she has a proper burial. I long for the closure of knowing that I can remember or speak of her, minus the unfinished business issue. Minus the guilt that goes along with it. Minus the issue with my siblings, the misunderstanding, the unnecessary mess that I almost died trying to clean up.

I only shared this dream with one of my closest friends. I didn’t even want to, I felt embarrassed, low and sad. I cried as I shared the details and my longing for closure. That’s all I can say for now.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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In The Meantime: Small Emergency Stash 🔦💻🕯 📚….

What we can do in the in meantime, while we’re spending more time in the great indoors:

1. It can’t hurt to slowly add to your stock of emergency items. Look over your supplies, especially if you haven’t in a year or so. Try to have an assortment of items, and seasonal items. Flashlights, emergency led lights, any type of battery operated light, is good investment. Make sure you have a few lighters and candle lighters as well, these items are cheap at your local/franchise dollarstore. I also finally decided to invest in a few waxless battery operated candles, which has helped me save money. I was reluctant to try them, because I thought the ight wouldn’t be adequate, but I was pleasantly surprised. They give a comforting glow, and they provide an adequate amount of light, similar to a real candle. They are great investment, especially for the winter season, give them a try if your into candles.

Here’s a pic of an amazing incredibly bright LED light gadget. It’s actually a flashlight, sold at a dollarstore near you.

2. Last year, I noticed that we had a few blackouts in less than a week. They didn’t last long though, but they reminded me that I should better prepare for them. The rainy stormy weather is usually what brings them on, but sometimes that’s not the cause. I was told by a co-worker that the heat in their downtown building was out for THREE weeks, coming into the New Year. That’s definitely not the way to start the year, but considering the times we’re in. She’s also pregnant to boot! Going without heat for that long, could be fatal to her and child. This happened downtown where the rent for a small condo is super high! So with that being said, try to prepare for power outages. We’re living in extra strange times, I feel as though we’re being experimented on, like lab mice…I’ll leave it at that.

3. Purchase extra items for leisure, for your “emergency stock” that will help get you through a potential power outage. Pencils, paper, notebooks, pencil crayons, bristol board, stickers crayons, crossword/wordsearch books, board games, books and magazines on topics that you enjoy, a separate portable DVD player (kept plugged in and charged up), dvds, music CD’s. These things are good to have ready on hand in the event that the internet goes down. If you have children, I recommend packing these items in gift bags with tissue, or even a large gift box, to make it fun for children. They will enjoy unwrapping these mystery presents. They will view these items as special, and important, which they are!

That’s all for now. I hope at least one of these tips are useful in some way. See you next post:)

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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In The Meantime: Continue Cutting Back ✂🛍🍫 💵 💭…..

Investing in your peace of mind, in the meantime, doesn’t take much, time, or energy. It’s very easy to do, and the rewards lasts a lifetime. You just need to prioritize and continue to cut back, as you would on unnecessary unhealthy foods. The more you cut back, the more you’ll realize you don’t need many extra things. The fact that the economy is going through major changes, it’s the perfect time to implement changes. I haven’t posted a food related blog in a while, but I have some good news! I no longer have need for a piece of chocolate, or anything chocolate everyday. I also have a large bag of chocolate that has lasted for months. I haven’t had the need to add chocolate to my grocery list. I don’t need it, and my cravings have decreased tremendously. Through these stressful times where I have more excuse to eat more chocolate, plus we’re forced to stay inside, by law. I’m proud of myself! That money I haven’t had to spend on chocolate has been going towards healthier food that sustains me.

Another way that I have helped satisfy my need for sweets, is by burning sweet scented candles. I never thought that I’d be a fan of them, compared to my usual favs. Sweet, flavourful, rich, candle scents make up for the sweets that I cut back on. I love pumpkin pie, but since I’ve cut back, the pumpkin pie candle is the best substitute. I haven’t been buying cookies, pastries, or pies as a need any more. I still like them, and crave them, but they are a special treat once a month or so.

I have more to say on this topic, but I’ll continue in another blog.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W