Just Some Thoughts 🤔:One of Those Sundays☔🍂💯😔….

It’s one of those Sundays where I vow to start the day as early as possible, vow to get a proper eight hours sleep, but for some reason the day doesn’t pan out that way.

I heard the rain tapping on the metal outside, sounding like a rhythm. I love the sound of rain, but this morning it doesn’t sound the same, it sounds like an interruption. It sounds as though a storms a brewing, and now the power is out. This is the second time this has happened this week, and I know I didn’t blow a fuse. Thankfully I have my flashlight by my side, and another trusty Led light gadget that I purchased yesterday from the dollarstore. I knew it’d come in handy soon, it’s that time of year. Sporadic rain, and thunderstorms. Cool, damp, crisp air.

I burn a large scented candle and lay back down in a fetal position on the comfy couch. I try to make myself comfortable, as I pull my favourite tan throw over me. I remember our friend that has passed, and it’s only been a few days. I think of how positive his energy was, what a bright light he was, and how young he was. I think of how his parents must feel, his family at home, who expected him to come home. I think about how dreary this day feels, and I planned on doing more with it. The weather outside depicts exactly how I am feeling, it could let up at any time, it will definitely change. I am frustrated that I’m going to have to change the plan I thought would work today.

It’s too dark to try and do too much, my sources of light are minimal, but good enough to get me through until the power comes back. My laptop battery is dying slowly, as is my cell phone, and my media pad. I lay patiently trying not to think negative or sad thoughts. I guess I’ll wait till everything is back up and running.

There’s only so much that I can do in the dark. I think, at least I am alive to face this day, it could be worse.
The power came back on as I positioned my flashlight,
The rain stopped as well. I felt a sense of relief.

It’s time to get on with my Sunday. The day ended up going okay.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,


~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Just Some Thoughts 🤔 :🍂Autumn’s Coming📝💔💯…..

Summer is officially over and that kiss of autumn crispness is in the air. So the heat is finally on, and I almost forgot to open the vents, I was walking around  feeling chilly, and forgot that I had that option. Summer disappeared over night as quick as showed up over night. The summer sun was blasting upon us yesterday, but I could feel autumn coming. My absolute favourite season, and time of year. Too warm for a light weight coat, but not warm enough to go on the road without one. So just to be safe, I carry one in my carry bag.

On the streets, folks hold on to what’s left of summer, still wearing shorts and sandals, but we all know summer is over. After three solid months of it, it’s time to say goodbye. We do this every year, but the sorrow that 2020 has bestowed upon us, has us holding on for dear life.

Yesterday my bestie cousin messaged me about another young man, a friend of ours who’s  life has ended due to a traffic accident. He was one of those people who had a very bright light inside, that you could see in his eyes.
He was excited about life and was always doing something interesting with his time. His energy always reminded me of a celebrity, I always considered him a celebrity in his own right. He left a positive impression on everyone he met, and nobody had a bad word to say about him. He was riding his motorcycle ironically, when he got into the accident, which he loved to do.

My cousin chose not to share the news with me until a few days after she found out.
She was worried that it may be too hard for me to handle, she apologized for having to give me, “more bad news”.

It’s that time of year though, after momma’s passing anniversary, when I prepare for the shift the universe will bring. The season is changing back to cold, the leaves turning colour, look so lovely to me.

That’s all that I can say for now, I’m operating off just a little sleep. I’ll continue in another post, have a productive day.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely
Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

August 30th❤️🌹RIP Mom: All That I Can Say…..

I didn’t post on that day, I didn’t go through the boxes of photos I haven’t looked at in years, I didn’t text or call anyone. I didn’t expect a call or text from anyone, and I didn’t receive one. We all know what day it was. I usually would feel compelled to text my father and say something, but nah, what’s the point. Everytime I took to my media pad to write, I drew a blank. I didn’t know where to start. I was worried that I may repeat myself and say what I have already said in previous posts.

I didn’t feel sad, just uneasy, slightly frustrated and disappointed. It felt “off” to me that I was calm, yet tortured by my thoughts at the same time. After all these years, WE are still not able to collectively acknowledge that day. The reason why, is what I still have not been able to shake, it bothers me, especially on that day. The reason “we” don’t speak of her collectively on that day, is because of the negativity, the awful behavior, and the messy aftermath that ensued years ago. I am absolutely embarrassed that the closure I feel I have reached, is haunted. I still feel as though, her legacy has been sullied, because of others guilty conscience. She still does not have a burial site, a place where her mother, siblings and friends can go to pay their respects. We still can not come together and celebrate her and all the good that she selflessly brought to our lives.

A few weeks ago, I had a very random short dream about her, and she spoke to me. I woke up feeling surprised at what I dreamt, yet assure. I hadn’t had a dream of her in a long time. The dream was a little weird, but not for a dream. I usually would not feel comfortable or open to share a dream like this, but I now I want to. It confirmed and validated my feelings about that day. The day had not come yet, but I was given a message, a message directly from her. In my dream we were sitting on the ground, facing one another, with our legs stretched out in front of us, and the soles of our feet pressed together. She then proceeded to ask me to change her socks, and I did so. It was a funny request, but she rarely asks for anything, and I didn’t mind of course, she’s Mom. I woke up thinking, Wow, I actually saw her, and she SPOKE to me! I felt assure, but wanted to confirm what the symbol meant, the “socks”.
I looked it up, and the socks meant what my instincts told me they meant, “comfort”.

Her message made me feel confident, and relieved, and know why she asked me to do that. I shared me dream with a few people who are close to me, and they understood the significance. So, as the anniversary of her passing fast approached, the dream lingered in my subconscious. On that day, I knew what we all should be doing, but it’s going to take more than my words to do it.
I am so tired and emotionally depleted from trying to explain, why it’s so important that by any means necessary we do what should have been done ages ago.

On that day, August 30th, I was quiet as a mouse and incognito as usual. I felt silly and foolish, yet again, feeling absolutely alone and stranded with my desire to break the spell after almost a decade.

I thought to myself before posting a short dedication on my instagram, what type of child would I be, if this didn’t bother me??? For she was my mother, the only one I’ll ever have.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,


~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Just Some Thoughts🤔: 🥄The Cup-Of-Soup, It’s Bigger Than Soup🍲🍵…..

I can’t help but notice the significant changes in the portions and amount of food in packages since the pandemic started.

I opened up my lipton cup – a – soup pack, poured it into my mug, and was unpleasantly surprised to see a lot less product. It looked sparse in the bottom of my mug. Considering most of the contents is powdered stock with a sprinkle of noodles anyways, I was very annoyed!
This is one of the only boxed food products that I purchase, but I really like it. I’m not sponsored by the company, nor am I trying to promote them, but I really like this non- perishable product in my pantry. It’s affordable fast, convenient, and very easy to make. It’s a nice hot snack, and it helps to hold my hunger, especially when I intermittently fast.
You can add anything you like to make it eat like a meal and it will taste great. I’m actually drinking a mug right now, with lots of walnuts added. The bitterness of the walnuts is masked by flavour. I usually add lemon, hot sauce spinach, fresh garlic, and onion, to boost my immune system.

This is bigger than soup though, and out of all the many, many problems that bombard us everyday we still have to pay attention to the significant yet subtle changes.
I searched online to and found this article called, “Shrinkflationhttps://theconversation.com/shrinkflation-when-less-is-not-more-at-the-grocery-store-97240 (Click the link if you’d like to read it)

I will continue in another post.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Just Some Thoughts 🤔: This Semi-Quarantine💭💔⚡❤️🌍🙏🏼….

The new semi-quarantine has brought up feelings in me that I don’t want to acknowledge, but I must. There are times where I feel that I can fix all of the worlds problems, while simultaneously healing my myself. There are times where I feel that I have the power of a super hero, and super powers, that I can touch my wounds and they will heal on the spot. I feel I have the power and strength within, to never to quit until I’m where I need to be. I feel I can do it all on my own if need be. Then, I have days where I feel that nothing I do is enough. No matter how much I try, all of my efforts will never amount to the outcome that I’ve been working towards.

As we all continue on in these intense times, I can relate to everybody all around me. From the successful business owners who have been shut down permanently, to the single parents trying to balance their budget, to the “upper-middle” class folks eating fancy dinners on the sidewalk everyday. We all crave normalcy, in any way we possibly can. Eating out every night is normal to some, and getting a chance to eat out once a month is normal to others. Some folks have it financially harder than others, while others can not cope emotionally while their fridge is full.

I sit back quietly, trying not to take anything too personal, trying not to take anything on. I feel terrible every single time I walk past a homeless person on the street. I have always given money, even when I was down to my last dollar, but lately I have not, because I can’t. I was raised to “Always give to those who are less fortunate than you” words ingrained in me by my father.

It’s an inner “empath” battle, it does not stop. I am happy however, that I still feel, and have not been numbed or desensitized. I love that about me the most.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(PT 4)Do You Really Need It?🍫🍨🍪…..

Since my last chocolate post, I have managed to curb my cravings tremendously! I’m very proud of myself and I thought it would be more difficult than it actually was. To give a ball park figure, I’d say I curbed my cravings by ninety percent. Now, I can keep a box of Glosettes for a week or longer, only eating a small palmful at a time! I can keep a pack of mini-snickers for a month plus. I can control what time of day I eat certain snack and sweets.
I don’t need chocolate the way I did months ago, I don’t need to have that trusty hot chocolate on hand anymore. Not needing these extra sweet products in the house, helps save money for healthier alternatives.

Since cutting back, I’ve had some different cravings for sweets I have not had in a while. I had a craving for fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, the ones that come in dough form. I saw a few types in the grocery store, and was surprised to see one said on package, “Safe to eat raw”. I thought to myself, Wow! After all these years cookie dough has been deemed safe to eat raw??? Interesting…back in the day that would be cool.
I used to bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch with my siblings when I was a kid. I loved to scrape the bowl after. Now this company is promoting eating raw cookie dough, I guess cookie dough ice cream ain’t enough?
Don’t get me wrong, everybody has a guilty junk food pleasure, but keep in mind these companies are all about the DOUGH! No pun intended.
I’ll continue more on this sweet topic in another post.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Just Some Thoughts 🤔: The New Wave 🌊😷📰 …..

So, the second wave announcement has come after we were just getting used to the new NEW” norm. Restaurant hosts standing at their podium on the sidewalk, has been a very strange sight, but I’m happy to see them working. Swiveling around folks lined up at the open front restaurants, seems natural now. As tables began to be set up on the sidewalk, and the road, as local cafés changed their window signage, I knew the threat of another shutdown was looming. Back in March I thought I heard them say, that the virus could not survive in hot weather, so by summer the virus will fizzle out. Regardless of every theory  that we’ve heard, something obviously isn’t adding up. The protests and questions RE the new rules, will not let up because we’re receiving mixed messages.

It is very weird that the security in the store corridors is even stricter the mask rule is turning into law, and the social distancing floor markers are now in new places.

While all of the essential workers continue to provide us all with the services that we need, keep in mind some have lost their pandemic pay. I think that is completely unfair, considering we are ALL still going through it.
In the meantime, I’ve made sure to personally Thank the employees that help me, at least on a week. Especially if I frequent a store on a weekly basis. I
tell them that their service has been awesome dealing with this. I also fill out those online surveys that are on the receipt, and am sure to include the name of who helped me.
I try to fill out those surveys at least one out of three visits, and include the name of the employee who helped me in the comments. You can help lift their spirits, and remind them that their efforts MAKE these business run. Also, we need to send a message to these large corporations that their employees are what MAKE the business.

Try to do this, make somebody’s day, while we all navigate through these strange but unusually beautiful times of change.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely,
https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(PT4)Police, Through The Eyes Of A Child🚨👮🏻‍♂️👧🏾💭…..

Continuing from where I left off…

I know the reason why we were forced to stay there and watch, an example was being set, it was done on purpose.

As I said in a previous blog, I never wanted to distrust the police. After this event, I was left with a negative impression, I viewed them as violent.

I was left with the impression that the police are violent for no reason. I witnessed it with my own two eyes, I didn’t need a rap song or a television show to give me that impression. I stopped trusting police and questioned their authority in my young innocent mind. At five years old, all you have is your parents and household environment to draw from. My parents were not violent in front of me, I had never seen them physically fight in front of me. I was not accustomed to seeing violence, except on television. I will reiterate that my parents were not anti-police and did not speak negatively of them or any athourity figures for that matter. I was taught you do not hit a person, male or female, without expecting them to hit you back. I was taught that you do NOT hit a person unprovoked.
If a person is NOT hitting you, yelling or screaming, threatening, acting aggressive, why would you hurt them??? Is violence necessary in a situation like that? And, if you are going to be violent, why do it in front of little children???Had my father been yelling, cursing, resisting arrest it would’ve made more sense.

I had to question, should I even trust police? They might do something terrible to me, they might hurt me the way I saw them hurt him. They are authority figures that I trusted. I would run to them if I didn’t have my parents and needed help. If I was ever in trouble outside, scared, lost or afraid, I would trust them practically equal to my parents.

During my childhood, I wondered what the police really thought of us. I imagined they probably thought we deserved to be exposed to them beating my daddy ‘s a***. Imagined  they thought:

Your daddy is a criminal, so we are going to treat YOU like a criminal. You and your family do not deserve respect. We think you’re trash, We think you are bad, your father is bad, your house is bad, and we are going to destroy it.

I did not even think of my skin color or my father’s skin color, or their skin color. I just thought they hated us, looked down on us. I thought they did care at all about us…..

Well I learned and understood as the years went by, that many factors came into play with that traumatizing situation. My mother shared some info with me, and most I picked up on my own.

I expected the worst when it came to police, yet I still had trust and faith in them to do their job, I was just an innocent child.
I have more to say, and I’ll continue in another blog.


Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.


Love and Respect,


~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(PT3)Police, Through The Eyes Of A Child👮🏻‍♂️👧🏾💭…..

Picking up from my last paragraph…


I’ll never forget hearing my mother pleading with them to let us go, let us leave the area, so we wouldn’t have to witness any violence. I always Thank God that my mother was a very calm and logical woman, because she properly addressed the police in a non-aggressive manner. She always spoke eloquently in any situation. I’ll never forget hearing her pleading with the police to please let us go! She didn’t want us to have to see any violence but her pleas fell on deaf ears. I did not understand why we were not allowed to leave the area and get away from the scene. We were not doing anything wrong.

The violence seemed to last forever, I forgot all about my house, my toys, the safe feeling that I had moments before they came. There were so many police, and none of them were listening, or helping us. We stood there frozen in time, that’s how it felt.
My mother was asking them to allow us to go away from the situation for a reason, she was trying to protect us.
Unfortunately, she had no control over the situation and the best she could do to protect us, was NOT ARGUING. Now that I’m older, I understand that, whole heartedly. Had she argued with the police, they may have tried to put their hands on HER, or arrest her too. We ended up leaving in a taxi and going to my Aunt’s place, and I never went back  for a long time. I did however see my house on the news at my Auntie’s place, but that’s another story.

I was meaning to complete this blog for weeks, but I had so many other thoughts to share. In wake of what’s been going on in the world regarding police, it’s been overwhelming taking it all in. I chose to share my most important encounter with police that unfortunately, happens to be negative. Regardless, I still respect the law and the police. I was taught by my intelligent mother, (RIP) how to speak to the police and she never encouraged us to act up. I understand that CORRUPTION is the problem, police who do not follow their oath to “Serve and Protect”. I do not blame the police for coming to arrest him, or even raiding our house. I do however, think that children should be removed from these type of situations. If not by the police, by CPS or in Toronto we call it “Children’s Aid”.
I know the reason why we were forced to stay there and watch, an example was being set, it was done on purpose.

As I said in a previous blog, I never wanted to distrust the police. After this event, I was left with a negative impression, I viewed them as violent.

I will continue in another blog.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,


~Dawn Lovely
Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Don’t Get Too Comfortable✋🏼💯…..

So, the rules have let up and everyone is finally outside taking in the hot weather. Toronto summers don’t last long, so soaking up the sun while it’s out, is a must. The thirty degree plus weather has been consistent which is pretty surprising, and folks are taking advantage.
The streets look practically back to normal, no longer deserted at two in the afternoon.

I love the summertime scenery in this part of mid-town and I never thought I’d experience seeing it in this state. As I walked home at night from running my errands, there was a lot going on outside. It was very festive and beautiful, with all of the restaurants lit up, and tables set up outside. It’s been a while since many shops or restaurants were open, and past seven o’clock for that matter. The majority of businesses are open, but now “they” are saying there’s a possibility of another shutdown…Again.

You may live in an area that may currently be shutdown already. The news is up and down everyday, it’s a rollercoaster of information we’re all riding on. So, I hope for the best, but expect the worst.
Up until now, there wasn’t a mandatory rule for wearing a face covering to enter the grocery store, now there is. I get it, and I’m okay with it, but I do have questions. I find it very odd that there are so many rules and regulation signs posted everywhere, in the tightest of spaces. You have to practically walk on the road with the cars to avoid walking into a dinnertable set up on the sidewalk. While folks eat their dinner, they are not wearing masks and neither are the folks waiting to eat. Of course. I was worried that I may trip up a waiter with my pullcart, so I went around a tree on a sliver of sidewalk. Navigating the streets is becoming more uncomfortable than when this pandemic first hit.
With all of the social unrest, extreme heat, simply trying to breathe with or without a mask, managing money, the next to  impossible social distancing rules, you have to keep your peace of mind in tact.

Am I fully prepared? No, and I’m not feeling as comfortable but I’m mentally preparing, and my intuition and common sense hasn’t let me down yet.

I will continue in my next blog, have a productive day.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W