I felt comfort and peace, realizing within a few seconds, this is what’s been missing in my life. Her presence gifted me a feeling of hope, as though ANY and EVERY problem would be solved without struggle or strife. It wouldn’t take a decade to solve a challenge that could be solved in a day, nor would it take so much pain, caused by deliberate push back.
Her caring, productive energy, so forward-thinking…I felt she truly was trying to help us, such an uplifting and inspirational energy. She usually doesn’t speak to me in my dreams, not that she needs to, but I always understand and know exactly the message she is trying to bring to me. She was standing in front of me, holding up a set of lovely curtains that she made herself, I knew this automatically, because she was quite the seamstress when she was alive. Upholstering old pieces of furniture, making them look beautiful and classic, which always blew me away. This was a natural skill she had, that I did not inherit, but always respected and admired her for it, which I told her when she was in the flesh.
Behind her was an array of curtains, of many different, styles, patterns and colours, beautiful, and looked of quality. I thought, How did she do so much work, in such a short amount of time?? And why did I assume that she had less time? This is the thing about dreams, they can immediately make sense, or have you questioning, with logic, which you’re really not supposed to do, because dreams do not always walk straight…
My spirit told me that Mom was trying to show me something, and it was beyond the curtains, so when I awoke, I made note of the dream, and made note to tell my father the next time that we speak on the phone. This was a dream that had a message for ALL of us, and she deserves reciprocity for all that she did for us, with a clean heart. I will continue in my next post, Have good night and Good sleep!
It was nice to take a different route, I love looking out of the window, seeing areas that I grew up, and haven’t seen in the longest time, until an important task or errand takes me out there. Bringing me a feeling of comfort, safety, curiosity, slight confusion, and beautiful nostalgia. I’ve felt at times as though I tripped back in time, and I’m trying to makes sense of where, what and how, I ended up in a particular place. I continue trying to piece together, pieces of my childhood that I feel as though are missing, or fragmented. I strive to figure out where they fit, like trying to complete a puzzle. I was telling my Auntie this, as we drove down the Gardiner Expressway, and I was taking in the the “Grass Art”, and the advertisement logos, that have been there from back in the day. I explained to her that every time I see them, I flash back to sitting in the back of a taxi cab, at night, gazing out of the window as cars speed by, capturing the night scene, the waterfront, the grass art, the vibe of the city. And, although, I do not know where we are going, I do not ask, and sit quiet with the rest in the back, fighting heavy eyelids, trying to stay awake, until we arrive at our destination, because waking up in an unknown place can be a tad traumatizing. Do you remember those days, as child? Falling asleep during a loooong car ride, and being woke up to a different place, space and time? As your Mom gently touches your shoulder, and rocks you to wake you up, your eyes slowly open and you felt as though you were sleeping for centuries, like a sleeping giant from from the children’s story book…
Moments and memories embedded in my soul, the city awakens in me, regardless of the occasion. We touched down many diverse spaces, due to circumstances that were beyond my control. I was innocent and not old enough to grasp the magnitude of how much we endured, along with Mom, alone, and how it must have been from Mom’s point of view. She modestly navigated areas of the city, diverse spaces, with us gathered around her, while she pushed a stroller with a small baby and a toddler, walking beside her, walking in front of her, holding her hand if she had one free to hold. Watching her carry bags, along with a baby bag, just to run a simple errand…Damn…It can be challenging doing it alone, car-less, on a tight budget, moving quickly through rush hour, on guard for personal safety, and terrible drivers! So, how did she do it everyday, all alone??
February came quick, and we’re almost near the end as the months roll by. Now we received a much anticipatedextremely HEAVY snowfall, which has put a dent in our pre-spring dreams, as daylight savings time is around the corner. Now the streets look almost unreal, like a winter wonderland, but with extra, EXTRA snow!! It’s been years since we’ve experienced this level of snow fall, I don’t remember it being this extreme, AND for days in a row. So the streets and roads don’t have time to recover. The snow continues to pile up, layering on top of large mini hills, that almost resemble mini avalanches on people’s front lawns. This winter, our below zero weather has hit down to approx -17 with the windshield, which we accepted graciously, because the lack of snow made it a lot easier to tolerate. It was only before so long that we would receive a true dose of snow that would interrupt our days, and becoming an obstacle course to navigate. I love to walking for exercise, and my daily walk is important, and imperative for my health, both mental and physical. So although the snow is a nuisance, I treat it as an add-on to a workout. I enthusiastically layer up, and leave for an hour plus walk, keeping up a brisk speed, as I listen to my favourite playlist from the 90’s, as I whisk through, and step over the mushy, unleveled, higher than ankle, snow. My destination will take me approx 2 hours, at least to go and return, hopefully safely, and I factor in the time it may take to get around the unpredictable snow accumulation in other areas. I brace myself for the bottom of my pants to get wet with snow, and my hands, gloved up, for premature frost bite, dangerous ICY patches, AND extra pressure on my legs, and knees which are not as “youthful” as they used to be! lol So, I am careful and cautious not to twist them in the unforgiving snow.
This photo was taken on the way to run errands, AFTER a few days of snow removal, and it was -7 which was tolerable enough to stop, take off my gloves, fumble with my phone, and take a decent pic.
So, I successfully made it to my destination, completed my errands really quickly, and started trekking back, on the opposite side of the street, thinking it may be a better choice. Moving strategically, to avoid slipping in the mounds of under-knee level snow. Boy, was I wrong! It was just as bad! Possibly worse, and there was no way to tell until you start walking, and turning back is NOT an option, borderline dangerous, however, you just gotta keep it moving! So, it may take me an hour to get home, but it’ll give my legs some more workout, how I can I complain?!
I restarted my playlist on one of my favourite, beautiful, inspirational and calming tunes by BabyFace, “Exceptional”, as a wisky, light, snow began to fall and winds picked up, making it difficult to see. As winds picked up, I couldn’t help but notice the elevated level of politeness and comradery between people who walking by. I made sure to stop, and give others space to get by, and they did the same, and said Thanks as they walked past me. They even made eye contact, or gave a nod, or even a smile. It was endearing, as I love good manners, and basic human regard in weather disaster times. The gracious level of patience, that we do not usually exercise on a regular day, seems to be available from the majority it matters the most! Imagine if we did this on the road while driving, regardless of the weather?!
Fell asleep while watching some video, and had one of those black out slumbers that provide me with a random, meaningful, detailed dream. I dreamt that me and a bunch of other people who I don’t know, were deep under water in some water world. We were all in human form, and able to breathe with no equipment. For some reason, we were in a classroom setting being instructed by a teacher. We were attentively listening as strict instructions were being dictated RE “swimming style rules”. Yes, swimming style rules. The teacher was telling us that we are NOT allowed to swim by using certain motions, and that we must only use motions that are unassuming, light, and inconspicuous. I was absolutely floored! I didn’t say a word, and continued to listen waiting to hear the logic in these strict instructions. I was confused, and thought to myself, “What the hell?!?! What difference does it make how we swim??? it’s our body!!!” I continued to listen puzzled asf, and heard someone from above yell out in protest, but I couldn’t see them. I then I awoke to a random video playing on my laptop, and thought ooooh! I gotta stop falling a sleep with videos playing. I knew however, that my dream was not because of that. These “uncertain times” have taken a toll on my subconscious, regardless of how well that I’ve navigated it all thus far. Believe it or not, this was actually one of my most “normal” dreams that I’ve had in the past two years. It was the underwater world that theme that I had me questioning myself though. I did not check a dream dictionary out of curiosity, there was no need in this case. We are in this world, but quickly being pushed into a New World that makes any other world seem normal…That was the first water world dream I’ve ever had. I hope you enjoyed!
Dawn Lovely says.................. 