(It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy) What You Can Do💔😒😔…..

November 4, 2019November 7, 2019 ~ dawnlovely

Continuing…..

We shouldn’t wait until a person is at their worst, or passed on, to do for them what they’ve done for us. If you love them, as much as you they love you, be that love they gave. The courage and strength to do so, will come through you, if you allow it to.

I never in a million years, thought that I would be considered the “strong” one in the bunch after mom passed away. I am not by any means weak, but I didn’t intend on being that kid. I simply drew on the strength that my mother always told me that I had inside. I felt closer to who she really was, and that I encompass more of her traits than I thought. It wasn’t easy to see my mother change through the years, and become someone different as she dealt with her inner pain. She went from having a natural serene facial expression, to a not so happy face. Many people couldn’t accept the change, and I found that dehumanizing. She deserved to be not happy all of the time, nobody is always happy or nice. I have learned that no matter how much a person does good by others, they may not receive back all that they gave. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I hate to say this, but I have witnessed the worst behavior from the people who were given the most! It forced me to realize that your value may go down, once you are not able to give what people expect of you.

Picture yourself in that hospital bed, or that even that casket, what would you want, or expect your loved ones to do on your behalf?? It would hurt to see them make it all about them wouldn’t it?

This subject is quite depressing, but I hope you took away something from this post.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy😔💔😒…..

October 29, 2019November 3, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

I won’t tell you that everything will be okay, because I know that life will never be the same for us if we lose him. I’m not that person who simply says to “pray” and posts prayer hands emojis all over my social media. I try not to say, “I’m sorry to hear that” because it sounds insincere, and generic. Actions speak louder than words, and what I do, what WE do collectively, can do more than you think.

As I write this, I’m laying down, fighting to keep my eyes open. I should be sleeping, but I need to share these thoughts. I recently heard disturbing news about my grandfather from my mother’s side. He’s the only grandfather that I’ve known, and we all affectionately call him “Daddy”. He is one of the only caring, consistent male figures that I’ve ever known. He actually is my step – grandpa, and I was very surprised when I found this out growing up. It didn’t matter that we aren’t blood related, but it amazed and shocked me because of the way he cared for my mother and her sisters. It was as though they were his own, and he even went the extra mile for them, helping them. He always made me feel important, even though he has tons of grandchildren. He never mixed me up with my twin sister, addressing me by my actual name.

They say, you never know when you’re gonna go, so don’t forget to tell the people around you that you love them. I’ve always agreed with this, and try to live by it. Witnessing a handful of loved ones pass away suddenly, has reinforced this reminder. Showing my appreciation on a daily basis is a daily priority in my life. It’s better than saying “I love you”, because memories of you is all they’ll have when you’re not in their presence.

I think it’s weird and wrong, that it takes a tragedy, an unfortunate occurrence to bring us together. We shouldn’t wait until a person is sick or passed on, to do for them what they’ve done for us.

I will continue in my next post. Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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(Conclusion) Am I The Right Fit🤨???…..

October 28, 2019October 28, 2019 ~ dawnlovely

Continuing….

I’m kinda over this….maybe I’m not fit for this anymore?? I sighed inside and listened attentively to her next question. They became easier to respond to, because I couldn’t give a “wrong” answer. I immediately became more relaxed, and began to recite responses that I usually give. I put a different spin on them, and thought, damn I’m sick of telling these stories….I always feel the need to make them “sound” interesting, so I don’t bore myself while talking. I also want to make sure they remain interested and the stories are memorable. I figure, the ten people before me may have gave a boring forgettable answer, and mine will be the best. I felt a surge of energy and I was able to answer her questions with enthusiasm. I thought to myself, this feels like an audition, they always do….

It doesn’t matter the type of work I will be doing, it doesn’t matter if the office is nicer looking than the previous. It doesn’t matter if I’ll be making a few dollars an hour more, it feels the same, and I think it’s time to stop lying to myself. The moment I knew my body had enough, my health has been affected, I’m not learning anything new, it was time to go! I’ve known this for a long enough time to allow myself to accept the truth. Sitting in that suffocating office was the slap in the face that I needed.

Back in the day I was thrilled to get a job that I thought I was more “upper class” because I considered it an improvement. I considered all the other types of work I did kind of “juvenile”. I felt as though I needed a change in pace so I’d be taken seriously as I grew older. But, when I look back at the positions I’ve held since I was fifteen, they actually did me well. I was given more responsibility, was paid better and was happier doing that type of work. I even had a few managers/supervisors give me a few raises within a short time period. They told me my positive attitude and dedication was appreciated. That made me feel good, proud and important. I even had a supervisor tell me, he knows he can leave the place in my hands because, “I won’t let the f****** place burn down”.

It’s cool to be appreciated and compensated for your genuine efforts at work. Regardless of your field, age or salary, your time is the most valuable. When I hear stories about folks who work in “high paying” positions throwing it all away due to being unhappy, I now 100% get it. I understand they accepted their true purpose instead of making excuses to remain unhappy.

I am able to adapt and learn, and fit in these new environments. Now I am taking a leap of faith and trusting my gut. I am NOT the right fit, and that’s not a bad thing.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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(Part 3)Am I The🤨 Right Fit???….

October 26, 2019October 26, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

Continuing…..

We’ll see how this goes!

I was not on my A-game, but I always go in with a positive attitude and calm disposition. I don’t get nervous, It’s just a conversation, but one that I hope will not last long. For some reason I was feeling claustrophobic, I felt caged in, and I wanted leave!! I wasn’t sure why…perhaps it was the size of the office, the colours or the dim lighting. All I know is that I wanted to get out of there ASAP! I tried to focus on what she was saying, and my mind scrambled for a second after her first question. This rarely happens to me! I had an answer, I did a little research, but for some reason I doubted myself. I thought that I was mixing up this place with another. I felt my words fumbled coming out of my mouth, but I heard my words clear. I was worried that I may sound unsure of myself, that’s not a good look. I tried to read her facial expression in order to determine if I was doing okay. A part of me wanted to not do well, a part of me was hoping that she thought I wasn’t “it”. I felt as though I didn’t want the position, I had a revelation at that moment. I’m kinda over this….maybe I’m not fit for this anymore?? I sighed inside and listened attentively…..

Stay tuned for my next post, and Good evening:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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(Cont’d)Am I The Right Fit🤨???….

October 24, 2019October 25, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

Continuing…..

Damn, I know I’m qualified but I’m most likely not going to be the right fit…..I dunno …..I hope I’m on time!

Okay, I’m not late, I got about ten minutes. Thanks bus driver, for actually answering my question, and dropping me off at the exact street. That saved me time, I know where I am now… there it is!

This place definitely looks different than I expected. I didn’t see anybody as I walked in, there was a long lunch table and no receptionist. So, this place isn’t as posh as I assumed it would be, the decor was dated. The contrast compared to my old office was night and day. I turned the corner to a wide open space and a handful of women sitting at desks spread out. I waved and said Hello to the group, as a friendly young woman approached me and introduced herself. She was the person who interviewed and had been corresponding with me. She was pleasant, and not in a fake way, which was a relief. Whew. The vibe is okay, but I try to be as low key as possible when entering a new work environment. I didn’t look too hard at anything or anybody, then I heard somebody yell out, “She’s wearing stir ups!!! Remember those!!? Don’t those bring you back to high school days?!!” I looked down at my pants feeling slightly shy, I didn’t want the unnecessary attention being that I am brand new. The dress pants I was wearing, were actually dress pants, but had the “foot band” elastic thingy. The style is 80’s inspired, and other women have pointed them out before asking where I purchased them. It was a compliment, and that’s cool, but I was definitely not trying to have my clothes be the focus. In a casual dress code office environment, I make a conscious effort to be covered and not “flashy”. Opinions about appearance are not important to me, but it can be very annoying when others focus on it more than I do. I was trying to lay as low as possible until everyone was introduced. Maybe I’m thinking too much??? Or maybe I’m at a point in my life where fitting in at work truly means absolutely nothing to me. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that no amount of money can replace the time that I may have to waste pretending.

Okay, I was just called in, it’s time to meet the Director of Operations. I’m ready, not nervous, and I’m going to be myself. Within five minutes I will know if I am meant to continue the conversation. We’ll see how this goes!

Stay tuned for the conclusion. Good night & Good Sleep!

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Am I The Right Fit🤨???….

October 22, 2019October 22, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

I thought I was going to be late as I walked briskly to the bus stop in the heavy pouring rain. I checked the weather report before I left, and I didn’t expect it to be so windy and cold! My flats were soaked within seconds, and I did not want to catch a cold. I guess summer is officially over, OH NO! That’s what I thought as scurried across the street, feeling like I was barefoot, water splashing under me feet. I couldn’t turn around and go home to change, and I was not going to wear anything fancier than flats. These places usually have a casual dress code, and fancy shoes are out of the question for me. I find it’s best not to over dress for these type of environments, not that I really worry about these things. It just goes along with the territory of entering a new office environment. Thinking about these details is one reason why I’m not into the office environment.

I was going to get wet regardless, and I didn’t care. I didn’t care if my curls were wider and I didn’t look perfect. I just wanted to be on time, and get to the right place. As I waited for the bus I contemplated canceling, although I wasn’t quite late yet. The down pour would probably affect my arrival time, and I hate to be late, it gives a bad first impression. I’d rather not go if I’m going to be late. I sent a courtesy email to inform them that I may be late, but they didn’t mind. They simply replied, “We’ll be waiting patiently.” I knew I had to go at that point, and I really didnt feel like it. The bus finally pulled up and folks started to rush to the curb, ugh, that really annoys me…..

I hope I feel okay with the vibe of this place, or this is a waste of my time? I’m gonna probably get sick by the time I arrive home. Should I even bother going?? I don’t know how I feel about the possible hours. Based on our communication thus far, they probably assumed….. I’m not what they’re going to expect. Damn, I know I’m qualified but I’m most likely not going to be the right fit…..I dunno know…..I hope I’m on time!

I will continue in my next blog, enjoy your night 🙂

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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August 30th 2019 R.I.P🌹🙏😔 More Than Memories…..

September 19, 2019September 19, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

I took a break from posting online, but I’m back:) From the day of Mom’s passing anniversary, I’ve pretty much been ghost. Every year is different, and this year I stayed to myself and avoided frivolous conversations. I went away and put myself in a quiet space. I allowed my self to feel what I feel, and I’m glad that I did. I didn’t feel the need to post my feelings on social media on the day, or post a dedication. I didn’t receive a text or call about the day, and that was okay, but still made me ponder….I thought a lot about her, and lessons that she taught me. I thought about how actually doing as she taught me, caused others to resent me. I have a deeper appreciation for her every year, as I grow older. It hurts my heart and bothers my conscience that I still haven’t been able to properly celebrate her with the ones I grew up with….Since August 30th I think I grew a little. When it comes to my feelings, and facing more than the memories of her, I accept where I stand. There’s more to share, in my next blog. Stay tuned:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Just Some Thoughts🤔:It Shouldn’t Hurt To Be Tolerated…..

August 22, 2019August 22, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

We tolerate strangers on a daily basis and don’t do them any harm, but one who is close to you, feels entitled to get at you.

This is one of the worst truths I was forced to learn in my life so far. I don’t enjoy writing about it, but it actually has helped me to feel more safe in the world. This has helped me to became more brave and free. I started to put myself out there, without a fear of being harmed. A stranger can not hurt me, or my feelings any worse than a loved could.

We tolerate strangers on a daily basis, no matter how unbearable, but we don’t do them any harm. The smelly dude on the subway, who plops himself down next to you in the corner two seater, and falls asleep on your shoulder, doesn’t get an elbow to the eye?!! Of course not, he gets a gentle nudge to wake him up, and an apology for bothering him. Unless you are a very rude and ignorant individual, you will naturally be more cautious while dealing with strangers. I always try to tread lightly and carefully when it comes to total strangers in public. I expect not to have to get into a confrontation with them in an awkward situation. The upside of it, is that folks appreciative it, and Thank me for it, most of the time.

As I said in my previous blog, the ones closest to you feel entitled to “get at you” and mistreat you, because they know you. They feel the liberty to treat you worse than a stranger, instead of quietly simply tolerating you. If you are able to stomach the mistreatment, you have the choice to quietly tolerate them, or not. I hope this post helps you, if you are currently or have had this problem.

Even with the most love in your heart, and good intentions, “they” still may not like or know how to tolerate you. Always protect your energy, don’t sacrifice it just to be around them.

Stay tuned for my next post, Goodnight 🙂

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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(Cont’d) Just Some Thoughts🤔:They Don’t Like You, They’re Just “Used” To You…..

August 18, 2019August 20, 2019 ~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

The folks you think should care the most about you, because you were born into a group with them, simply may not like you. They are just used to knowing you, which means they are tolerating you. I know this sounds very negative, but it’s the truth. For self preservation it’s best to keep your distance.

It’s best to keep your distance, you have to protect yourself, physically and emotionally. Self preservation is the most important reason, risking offending them is not even relevant. The beauty of growing up, into adulthood, is that you can make this decision before a problem arises. Believe you me, something will always happen, to remind you how they feel. They will feed off of your energy whether you give it to them intentionally or not. Their goal is to hurt you and to see you squirm. Tolerating a person should not bring them any harm. We tolerate strangers on a daily basis and don’t do them any harm, but one who is close to you feels entitled to get at you. I hope that makes sense to you, it’s a terrible thought to share, but it’s the truth. Stay tuned for my next post, Good Morning or Good Night 🙂

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Dawn Lovely says………………

lessons&life

lessons

(It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy) What You Can Do💔😒😔…..

It Shouldn’t Take a Tragedy😔💔😒…..

(Conclusion) Am I The Right Fit🤨???…..

(Part 3)Am I The🤨 Right Fit???….

(Cont’d)Am I The Right Fit🤨???….

Am I The Right Fit🤨???….

August 30th 2019 R.I.P🌹🙏😔 More Than Memories…..

Just Some Thoughts🤔:It Shouldn’t Hurt To Be Tolerated…..

(Cont’d) Just Some Thoughts🤔:They Don’t Like You, They’re Just “Used” To You…..