Just Some Thoughts🤔:It Shouldn’t Hurt To Be Tolerated…..

We tolerate strangers on a daily basis and don’t do them any harm, but one who is close to you, feels entitled to get at you.

This is one of the worst truths I was forced to learn in my life so far. I don’t enjoy writing about it, but it actually has helped me to feel more safe in the world. This has helped me to became more brave and free. I started to put myself out there, without a fear of being harmed. A stranger can not hurt me, or my feelings any worse than a loved could.

We tolerate strangers on a daily basis, no matter how unbearable, but we don’t do them any harm. The smelly dude on the subway, who plops himself down next to you in the corner two seater, and falls asleep on your shoulder, doesn’t get an elbow to the eye?!! Of course not, he gets a gentle nudge to wake him up, and an apology for bothering him. Unless you are a very rude and ignorant individual, you will naturally be more cautious while dealing with strangers. I always try to tread lightly and carefully when it comes to total strangers in public. I expect not to have to get into a confrontation with them in an awkward situation. The upside of it, is that folks appreciative it, and Thank me for it, most of the time.

As I said in my previous blog, the ones closest to you feel entitled to “get at you” and mistreat you, because they know you. They feel the liberty to treat you worse than a stranger, instead of quietly simply tolerating you. If you are able to stomach the mistreatment, you have the choice to quietly tolerate them, or not. I hope this post helps you, if you are currently or have had this problem.

Even with the most love in your heart, and good intentions, “they” still may not like or know how to tolerate you. Always protect your energy, don’t sacrifice it just to be around them.

Stay tuned for my next post, Goodnight 🙂

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

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(Cont’d) Just Some Thoughts🤔:They Don’t Like You, They’re Just “Used” To You…..

The folks you think should care the most about you, because you were born into a group with them, simply may not like you. They are just used to knowing you, which means they are tolerating you. I know this sounds very negative, but it’s the truth. For self preservation it’s best to keep your distance.

It’s best to keep your distance, you have to protect yourself, physically and emotionally. Self preservation is the most important reason, risking offending them is not even relevant. The beauty of growing up, into adulthood, is that you can make this decision before a problem arises. Believe you me, something will always happen, to remind you how they feel. They will feed off of your energy whether you give it to them intentionally or not. Their goal is to hurt you and to see you squirm. Tolerating a person should not bring them any harm. We tolerate strangers on a daily basis and don’t do them any harm, but one who is close to you feels entitled to get at you. I hope that makes sense to you, it’s a terrible thought to share, but it’s the truth. Stay tuned for my next post, Good Morning or Good Night 🙂

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Paying Attention To Distractions🙄, What Is Going On?🤷…..

Sometimes I feel as though I am a human video camera…observing, documenting, and recording us humans in these times. If these are supposed to be the last days, I guess that explains why our priorities as humans are completely out of whack.

It’s difficult for me to watch adults pay more attention to their cell phones than their own children. If it’s not a cell phone it’s something else distracting them from keeping at least one eye on their child/children. I can’t count how many times I have seen little children, babies, toddlers running around the mall by unaccompanied. I have actually witnessed little ones close to the size of a doll, alone in the halls, no adult in sight. A few times I had to approach an aloof security guard and bring him to a child that may be lost. I think to myself, does anybody else notice these children??? Why does it always seem to be me who sees them, all the while people walk by not noticing. A few of my friends who work in the mall, complained about this too. When they see these children in their stores, they are reluctant and fearful to approach a nearby adult who they think is the parent. They, as I, worry that they may be yelled at or treated with disrespect. We are in a PC culture where accidentally offending a parent could result in a confrontation. Sometimes this is due to a culture and language barrier, folks may react different than expected. They may not appreciate being approached or questioned about their child.

Back in the day, you could approach a stranger with ease and ask them if a wandering child belongs to them. Even if they were offended in some way, they showed their appreciation by keeping their feelings to them self. They were thankful that somebody cared enough to ask about their child. It seemed to be a priority, for all of us….Or maybe it’s just me?

Take Care until my next post.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Just Some Thoughts🤔:They Don’t Like You, They’re Just “Used” To You…..

Had I went with your agenda, maybe you wouldn’t have attacked me, or “came for me” and maybe we’d be hanging out right now. Maybe you would still “like” me and would call me, just to talk about nothing. Had I not listened to my gut, Lord knows you could have baited me into a fight. I would’ve ended up blaming myself for putting myself in a vulnerable position, because simply being around you is a hazard for me. I know you don’t really like me, and I really don’t know why, but it really is not my problem. I don’t say much to you, I don’t put you down or judge you. I’ve never laid a hand on you. I never had a desire to fight you, I would agree with you just to keep the peace. Some people have told me that you are jealous of me, but I never thought that. They told me that I can not see it, but they can, from the outside looking in. That thought never crossed my mind, especially because I looked up to you. I admired you and I learned a lot from you, I looked to you as a role model. It confused me that you could not, or did not want to see that. You can give your best and try to do your best by those you love or claim to love you, but it doesn’t guarantee that they will reciprocate. I can’t help but express my disappointment. Now that I am older, I exercise my right to keep my distance from anyone that my instincts tell me is no good for me. They say you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends and people you choose to associate with.

The folks you think should care the most about you, because you were born into a group with them, simply may not like you. They are just used to knowing you, which means they are tolerating you. I know this sounds very negative, but it’s the truth. For self preservation it’s best to keep your distance. That’s all for now, stay tuned for my next post.

Good Morning or Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Boundaries&🚷🙅Protecting Yourself…..

Continuing from Boundaries and Home Life…..

The time I spent as a child in woman’s shelters had a significant impact on me, both good and bad. I’m sure my mother never expected to have to be housed in a shelter with all of us. I was too young to understand how bad our situation really was. My innocence was protected as much as possible and I will forever be Thankful to my Mother(RIP) for that. The rules and boundaries she set were the only shield we had. Shelters are “open season”, you do not know exactly who or what you are dealing with. I never considered myself any different than the people around us. That could have been attributed to my innocence and upbringing, I was never taught to discriminate based on appearances. I didn’t fear the ladies with the hard exteriors or needle hole scars all over their arms. I was that child who was quiet and shy, people would pinch my cheeks and st me on their lap. I would sit with them as they had adult discussions, trying not to squirm. I was trying to be polite. One day my Mother explained the dangers of our new environment after she noticed me sitting with the ladies. I’ll never forget what she said, she told me that I must be careful when I’m around these ladies because they are not “like us”. She didn’t get into detail, but she did inform me that they were still strangers who could possibly hurt me. When I grew up I realized what she was trying to relay to me. Some of the women were from and still involved in the dangerous street life, some of them were criminals, some not mentally stable or on drugs.

She was trying to protect me, without putting other people down, I understand why she chose to explain that way. I listened to her, and held that lesson close to me throughout my life…..

I’ll continue in my next blog.

Good Morning or Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(Cont’d)Shame&Hunger🍞🙁 Pains…..

I remember a very important and inspiring statement said by a famous singer in an interview. I won’t quote her, but she spoke about healing from trauma brought on by her tumultuous divorce. The betrayal from her husband hurt her to a point where it was affecting her physical health. She grew up in poverty and many a time, did not have lunch to bring to school. She said dealing with being hungry as a child pales in comparison to her current pain. Her analogy touched my soul because it was true, I could relate. I’ve used it as a point of reference over the years.

Getting through the hard times is inevitable, I just need to remind myself to be easier on myself. The hunger Pains won’t last long, their only natural. Shame comes from trying to hide them, and there is no reason to feel the need to hide them. There is no shame in hunger Pains. Stay tuned for my next post.

Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Shame&Hunger🍞🙁 Pains…..

There’s no shame in the struggle we sometimes have to endure while going through tough times. If you are steadily working at improving yourself or living standard, difficulties will arise. It’s an important part of the struggle, that I am still learning to embrace, instead of resent. Going through “hiccups”, tough times, can take a toll on your confidence, especially if you usually have your stuff together. An unexpected change in your circumstances, or a mishap/mistake can cause you to feel a sense of shame. I’ve felt that way many times in my life, and lately I’ve been feeling that way. I will usually fall silent and stay to myself, because I am solely focused on getting myself to a comfortable position. I’ve been told by friends and family that I “disappear” or go M.I.A, and I don’t intend coming off that way. I realized the other day, that I am trying to hide the fact that I’m struggling, and feel insecure. It feels as though I am trying to hiding, the way I try to hide hunger pains, and a growling stomach. Have you ever had to hide the sound of your stomach growling because you were afraid people would hear it? Have you ever had to hide the fact that you were truly hungry and didn’t know if or when you were getting your next meal? It forces you to come up with lies to cover up that you are actually hungry, especially if you haven’t been eating.

There is no shame in hunger pains, and I have more to share, but I’ll continue in my next post.

Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W