Boundaries&🚷🙅Protecting Yourself…..

Continuing from Boundaries and Home Life…..

The time I spent as a child in woman’s shelters had a significant impact on me, both good and bad. I’m sure my mother never expected to have to be housed in a shelter with all of us. I was too young to understand how bad our situation really was. My innocence was protected as much as possible and I will forever be Thankful to my Mother(RIP) for that. The rules and boundaries she set were the only shield we had. Shelters are “open season”, you do not know exactly who or what you are dealing with. I never considered myself any different than the people around us. That could have been attributed to my innocence and upbringing, I was never taught to discriminate based on appearances. I didn’t fear the ladies with the hard exteriors or needle hole scars all over their arms. I was that child who was quiet and shy, people would pinch my cheeks and st me on their lap. I would sit with them as they had adult discussions, trying not to squirm. I was trying to be polite. One day my Mother explained the dangers of our new environment after she noticed me sitting with the ladies. I’ll never forget what she said, she told me that I must be careful when I’m around these ladies because they are not “like us”. She didn’t get into detail, but she did inform me that they were still strangers who could possibly hurt me. When I grew up I realized what she was trying to relay to me. Some of the women were from and still involved in the dangerous street life, some of them were criminals, some not mentally stable or on drugs.

She was trying to protect me, without putting other people down, I understand why she chose to explain that way. I listened to her, and held that lesson close to me throughout my life…..

I’ll continue in my next blog.

Good Morning or Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

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Boundaries🚷&Home🏘️ Life…..

When it comes to your home, having an “open door” lifestyle where everybody and anybody can walk through at their leisure, will bring you nothing but problems. Not everyone NEEDS to be in your space, especially if you have children. I appreciated that my mother didn’t allow random people to be around us, just for the sake of having company. I noticed she was constantly asked about her social life, they assumed she didn’t have one because of how quiet she was. She was a private person to a degree, but she was very social. I truly appreciated that she chose to protect us in our home environment as much as possible. As dangerous as the inner city can be for a young woman, add on a handful of small children. Why add more potential dangers to your home when the outside world is as hard as it is? Had something tragic happened to one of us, she would be the one to blame. It sucks to say, but she understood that and was sure to instill clear boundaries for herself and us kids.

The time I spent as a child in woman’s shelters, had a significant impact on me. I’ve touched on this in other blogs, but I’ll be sharing some of my experiences in detail in future blogs. I’m sure my mother never in a million years expected to have to be housed in a shelter with us. I was too young to understand at the time how bad our situation really was. The environment my mother created in the shelter made me forget where I was. Had she allowed strangers in our room, it wouldn’t have been the same. The rules and boundaries she set were the only shield we had, because shelters are “open season”. I’ll elaborate in another blog, stay tuned.

Good Night:)

Love&Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

🌹The Day After Mother’s Day…..

Forgive me, for this post is delayed….

I intended on posting this the day after Mother’s Day, but I didn’t, because my heart was too full in a good and sad way.

Every year is different, and I didn’t know how I’d feel this year. I try not to take holidays seriously in general, so I didn’t think I’d be affected. I chose not to participate in the family’s Mother’s Day gathering because I felt as though I had no reason to be there. As negative as that sounds, I truly felt that way. My closest bestie cousin told me that everyone missed me, and was asking about me. That was surprising, because I’m always around, I just wasn’t up for it. They couldn’t understand how I feel, and I expect that, it’s been this way since she passed away. I admitted to myself that the things that haven’ t been settled or completed yet, make me feel sad and disappointed. It takes away from the comforting memories that float through my mind. I thought about what the most important lessons I learned from her, and how much I miss having a regular conversation with her. I thought about how much I’ve grown and I understand even more the reasons behind certain lessons. Her strict methods and explanations have never left me.

One of her most important lessons, if not thee most important lesson that she taught by example, is establishing a daily routine, having structure and boundaries. It has helped me navigate through rough and trying times. It has protected me from the stresses of this world, like a shield. I don’t know where I’d be without it, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

I have much more to say RE routine, structure and boundaries in life, but I have to go sleep now. Good night and Good morning😊, catch you in my next blog!

Love &Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W