RIP

Nov 15th(RIP “Daddy”)My Birthday🎂 Was Bittersweet…

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been meaning to post for days now, but I couldn’t focus, my thoughts were all over the place. I was thinking about my grandpa in the hospital, in a coma. I was thinking about about how much I wanted to fly down to Miami and visit him, just so he could hear my voice. I wasn’t able to go. As my birthday approached, I wasn’t feeling good about that, but I was optimistic that he’d wake up. He was starting to exhibit signs that he would but some folks around him were already writing him off. I was upset and angry that they weren’t giving Daddy the energy he deserved. I tried to keep my composure and keep my thoughts positive. I’ve always known Daddy to be a positive man, and a fighter who bounces back from anything. I was prepared for the worst, but hoped for the best as I waited to hear an update. My Auntie G and the fam around were very optimistic about Daddy bouncing back as well.

In the wee hours of my birthday morning I texted my twin sister wishing her a Happy Birthday. I also praised us for making it this far. I’m proud of myself for making it through another year in one piece. That is most important to me every year, but I do love birthday cake, and presents. Anybody who knows me, knows that!

In the afternoon, I was informed that my grandfather was no longer with us. I knew there was something off, just by the manner in which my Auntie told me. A decision was made and we were not informed. I knew his passing wasn’t natural, I could feel it. I didn’t ask any questions, it wasn’t the right time for that. It was my birthday and I most definitely did not feel like seeing anyone or celebrating. I was just going to stay in my room, quiet to myself. My fam didn’t want that though, they wanted us to all come together, and celebrate the way Daddy would’ve wanted. I felt as though Daddy’s comforting energy was present. Auntie hugged me saying it’s my day and we will be celebrating with cake. I felt a little better hearing that, I had no excuse to go and hide away. My cousin texted me telling me she’s on her way.

This is a birthday I will never forget. RIP Daddy.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

More Than Memories, My Appreciation❤️🙏…….

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

Continuing…..

A few days later I had a fulfilling conversation with my bestie cousin, about the good and bad. I was able to speak my true feelings, and about memories that came back to me. I was able to release pain and disappointment I still feel, about us as a family not collectively celebrating her. Listening to other people talk about her, and that they feel the same, meant a lot to me. I’m reminded that others haven’t forgotten how special she was, or what she gave to us.

I was always at peace with her departing the earth plane, I felt she deserved and needed a break. I miss her, but it was more important for me to honor who she was, than wallow in sadness. To this day I feel the same, and I’m hurt that her legacy has not been honored the way it should be.

It’s more than just the memories it was the effort she put forth, that allowed us to create them. The worst of times growing up, have a memory or two that help me appreciate those times. I have a great appreciation for nature and outdoor activities, because she took us to parks and accompanied us on Creek walks. She made sure to enroll us in a summer camp program or some type of activity, despite being a single mother. She always encouraged me to write, to draw, to express my creativity, all through my life. I appreciate her greatly for that.

Every year I wish I could sit down with her, and tell her how much I appreciate what she did for me, for US. Thank you Mom.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W