The new semi-quarantine has brought up feelings in me that I don’t want to acknowledge, but I must. There are times where I feel that I can fix all of the worlds problems, while simultaneously healing my myself. There are times where I feel that I have the power of a super hero, and super powers, that I can touch my wounds and they will heal on the spot. I feel I have the power and strength within, to never to quit until I’m where I need to be. I feel I can do it all on my own if need be. Then, I have days where I feel that nothing I do is enough. No matter how much I try, all of my efforts will never amount to the outcome that I’ve been working towards.
As we all continue on in these intense times, I can relate to everybody all around me. From the successful business owners who have been shut down permanently, to the single parents trying to balance their budget, to the “upper-middle” class folks eating fancy dinners on the sidewalk everyday. We all crave normalcy, in any way we possibly can. Eating out every night is normal to some, and getting a chance to eat out once a month is normal to others. Some folks have it financially harder than others, while others can not cope emotionally while their fridge is full.
I sit back quietly, trying not to take anything too personal, trying not to take anything on. I feel terrible every single time I walk past a homeless person on the street. I have always given money, even when I was down to my last dollar, but lately I have not, because I can’t. I was raised to “Always give to those who are less fortunate than you” words ingrained in me by my father.
It’s an inner “empath” battle, it does not stop. I am happy however, that I still feel, and have not been numbed or desensitized. I love that about me the most.
Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.
Love and Respect,
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