stress

Shutdown Stress: The Conclusion, The Bakery Battle 🍪😬….

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

Sorry for the delay! I’m continuing from where I left off, and I also have something else to say:

Coupled with shutdown and virus fears, I’ve become even more understanding. I’ve had customers attempt to go to battle with me over the phone, before I explain the refund or freebies I’m about to give them. It feels like folks have more pent up energy to battle over nothing, due to-quadruple-shutdown fatigue. My patience has been tested on a daily basis by defensive customers. Their worry and fear causes them to act up, when they have received a promo deal late, or they think they’ve missed a potential deal. They panic and fret over the money they think they’ve lost, or money they hoped they would not have to spend. I totally understand, and am very empathetic towards them. The problem is, they act as though it’s a conspiracy against them! It can be very difficult to communicate when they are all riled up. I remind myself, that this may be their biggest problem of the week. I always keep in mind that everybody’s problems are different, and the pandemic has introduced many brand new problems to many folks. Problems that they never could imagine having to deal with. We all have our problems they say, and I try not to judge who has it the worst, but I find myself doing so. Every time I walk past a homeless person, who’s crouched down with a mug in hand hoping for change, I know that I don’t have it the worst…

As I exited with her bread, she Thanked me again, and continued to chat. I was actually ready to walk away, and go about my business, but she continued asking questions. She was curious about where I came from, and where I lived before moving here. I assumed she was curious because our short convo earlier. My perspective on this neighbourhood was pretty solid, and I told her that it was “different” when I was younger. She proceeded to explain the differences from her day on to now. I spoke freely about my family being one of the only black families on our block, but we were very comfortable. She shared with me that there was only a few on her street, back in the day. I could tell she was trying to choose her words wisely, which I found amusing. She told me that she’s been living in this neighbourhood for forty years, and that she was seventy years old! I never would have guessed that, she looked amazing for her age! She had a lot of spunk and spirit. I thought it was super cool that she cared to hear my opinion, and have a genuine conversation. As we walked towards our destination, she Thanked me again for getting her bread. I said, You’re Welcome, and it was nice speaking with you, feel free to say Hi if you see me around. She responded the same.

Although the bakery battle did not result in a verbal or physical altercation, it still had an affect on me. The last thing she said to me was in reference to that same rude lady, “I guess it’s the type of customers that frequent that place…..” I found that very interesting for a few reasons. One, she wasn’t talking about colour, race or creed. She was talking about BAD MANNERS ATTITUDE, and SNOBBERY!

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Shutdown Stress 🔐 🚫:PT 2 The Bakery 🍪 Battle😬…..

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

Continuing from PT 1:

I nodded with my masked face. I told her that I understand, that’s why I stand faaar back and confirm who is next. She was very upset and annoyed, and I knew there was a valid reason why. As the circle-line of customers began to grow, everybody joined the conversation. I was the odd woman out in this one, as usual. I’m not the main demographic of the neighbourhood, by any means. This elderly woman surprised me with her gumption, she had a lot to say regarding respect. She continued, telling the group that people are really “acting out” due to their frustrations with the shutdown. She added that she does not expect to see THAT type of behaviour around here. She proceeded to call out that particular Customer’s rude behaviour, pointing directly at her through through the window glass. She said, “Well THAT ONE is a problem!…” I’m not quite sure what she mumbled after that. Another customer tried to interrupt, and correct her, as though her speaking out was wrong. She remained solid in her stance, and would not allow anybody to minimize her opinion. I however, was very comfortable with the subject matter. I was glad that she was calling it out and telling the crowd that it is unacceptable. Manners are very important to me, especially in public. Manners, basic respect for your fellow man, keeps us civil on the most basic level.

I took it that she has a certain expectation from folks around here. My expectations are different. I hope for the best, but expect the worst from every, and anybody.

I started to walk away as the group grew larger, I didn’t have a lot of time left to wait. I also wasn’t in the mood to figure out who was next. I avoid crowds in general. As I was in the midst of saying, “Bye, have a nice day! The line will be a little shorter now”, I was told that I was actually next in line. I thought, Oh! Okay, I guess I’ll buy that cookie then. I decided to enter the bakery. As I walked inside, the lady asked me if I could do her the favor. She asked if I could please tell one of the staff that Helen, is outside waiting for her order. I said, “Sure! No worries.” She said Thank you. Through her masked face, I could see in her eyes that she was surprised at my enthusiastic response. If only she knew how many frustrated, impatient, confused, entitled, sarcastic, customers I deal with everyday. Coupled with shutdown and virus fears, I’ve become even more understanding. I’ve had customers attempt to go to battle with me, over the phone, before I explain the refund or freebies that I’m about to give them. It feels like folks have more pent up energy to battle over nothing, due to-quadruple- shutdown fatigue.

I’ll continue in another blog, I’m trying to go to sleep earlier tonight. Good night and Good sleep.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Shutdown Stress 🔐 🚫:The Bakery 🍪 Battle😬…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

Since the recent announcement of the fifth,( I think), “Stay-at home-order”, there’s much confusion which has put some folks on edge. At the beginning, it looked as though there were even more people outside, at the same time. For one, it’s finally spring season, despite the fall-like days. On blessed ten degree plus days, the weather brings the masses to the streets, we’re all trying to absorb some sunlight. I try my best to get out while the sun is out, and sometimes forget to anticipate crowded sidewalks. A shop that usually would have a sprinkle of people around three in the afternoon, may have three times as many people waiting outside. The lines formed on the sidewalk are confusing, as there’s not much room to form one. Sometimes folks may be defensive while trying to hold their place in line. I’m pretty laid back when it comes to these things, I simply try to keep my distance and respect others. Working from home, I’m not out outside dealing with this as much. I am thankful for that. This is a very nice neighborhood, and for what it’s worth, folks have been very polite and considerate with the lines.

I had a craving for a sugar cookie, and I can’t remember the last time that I had one. I am guilt free when I treat myself to special treat, since I’ve cut back tremendously on sweets. I saw a tray of colourful decorated cookies in the neighborhood favourite bakery, “Mabels”. They have great product selection and an awesome environment. It’s a cute, classic, very small and dimly lit shop, a classic midtown vibe, I love it. I figured I’d treat myself to one cookie, just ONE. I didn’t bother to go inside, because the line was too long and sweets weren’t my top priority. As I weaved in and out of the “Get-my-shopping-done-with- some-sunlight-while-the weather-is-still-nice” crowd, I hoped it wouldn’t be as busy later. I decided to wait until my shift, and if I still had the craving, I would get one.

On my thirty minute break, I quickly walked over and outside there was only three people waiting. I automatically did the six-feet stand back, while securing my place in the scattered circle line. A very short, small framed elderly lady began to talk to me, as strangers always do with me for some reason. She was standing close to the door looking into the window at the side. As customers slowly exited the shop, she turned to me and said, “You can’t even look inside of the window! This lady yelled at me thinking that I was trying to bud in line!Geez! People can be so ridiculous, they are really on edge! I’m just trying to see if my pickup order is ready.”

I nodded with my masked face. I told her that I understand, that’s why I stand faaar back and confirm who is next. She was very upset and annoyed, and I knew there was a valid reason why. As the circle-line of customers began to grow, everybody joined the conversation. I was the odd woman out in this one, as usual. I’m not the main demographic of the neighbourhood, by any means. This elderly woman surprised me with her gumption, she had a lot to say regarding respect. I will continue in my next post.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me@:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Welcome🍃To December❄: Please Rid Yourself Of Unnecessary😟 Stress…..

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This goes out to all of the folks who celebrate or acknowledge Christmas and the holiday season. If you can not afford to deck your house with boughs of holly, don’t worry. If you can not access the Christmas merchandise that you would usually purchase, don’t worry. Please don’t worry about what you can not afford to buy at this time. Please don’t worry about keeping up with your usual start of December routine.

First off, majority of stores province wide do not consider Christmas decorations “essential needs” and those stores/sections in the store, have been yellow taped! You are not allowed to buy those things, in some of these stores, minus a handful of the franchise stores that you ARE allowed to. As a matter of fact, you can buy pretty much ANYTHING in those stores. The local and provincial news has been covering stories about “small business owners” speaking out about the unfair double standard. I have been following these stories religiously, and all of this blows me away.

I felt compelled to stop and take a photo of this local “non-essential” business in my neighborhood the other night. I don’t why, but something about this shop, closed down, abandoned , shutdown , yet still well lit. It truly touched my spirit…

It’s all beginning to feel like we’re trapped in a dark comedy movie. I truly feel that way. Day to day we are forced to watch the daily news, waiting for an insufferable press conference, for new updates.

The other day my friend texted saying that she’s really been feeling down, before I could respond, she said she felt bad for not being able to start putting up Xmas decorations. I had to tell her to not be too hard on herself, but allow her feelings to come through. I also reminded her that the second shutdown has thrown all of us OFF. Even me, who honestly saw it coming a mile away.

In the meantime, please do yourself not be hard on yourself, don’t add to the stress that by default, has being inflicted on us. Try to look out for your friends and family, especially the ones who are hip to the game.

I’ll leave it at that for now. Have a good night.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Stress &Selflessness (Part 2)…..

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I’m going to continue where I left off,  as I was saying, people who constantly give and give, have higher expectations put on them from others. The stress and pressure has to go somewhere, and if they don’t complain and get it out, it can and will lead to their demise. My mother unfortunately, sacrificed herself, her health. I watched as her physical health and mental state deteriorated slowly over a long period of time, and I tried to reach her by asking her questions to help her feel okay with being open…..In the culture she comes from, they are not open about their true feelings, as in vulnerabilities, pain…It’s just the way they are, through the generations…..I am not the first person to address this problem, but we’re ALL to afraid to address it collectively…..I felt uncomfortable blogging about it last year, but I’ve come along way since then. I don’t feel ashamed to discuss this “taboo”  and I know and feel should NOT be a taboo at all.

This is the root of all the conflict, personal attacks,  misunderstandings and unfinished business with my immediate family regarding mommy’s passing. I’ve been told by many that, “They feel guilty…..Don’t take it personal, they’ll come around one day….” *Sigh *…..

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my mother’s passing, and I was feeling slightly off the day before, as I always do around these times… I try to go about my day as if it was a regular day, but then that feeling hits me…..I tried to make myself feel upbeat, but my mood was sombre…..I phoned my Auntie G who I’m closest with, and talked to her about my feelings, she always encourages me to…..I felt I needed to express my feelings that confused me,  a mix of angst, pain, disappointment, anger…I was complaining as well, which made me feel guilty…I didn’t want to come off as though I was complainer but I had to get it off my chest. My Aunt comforted me and reassured me it was okay for me to feel the way I feel…..I slept the rest of the day away until nighttime, then my Aunt called me and said she was coming from the city to see me. I was happy that I’d be able to spend some time with her before the night was over. Before she left we spoke about the quietness in the family, the strange silence on this day , every year. I told her that I hate the fact I’m STILL frustrated, even after how far I’ve come. She reminded me that I won’t have full closure until the “unfinished business” is handled and my feelings are a natural part of it…..I just wish we all could emulate my mother’s selflessness to come together as a family.

 

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Stress & Selflessness…..(Part 1)

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Being that I was raised by a single mother who always put her children before herself, there were times I’d feel guilty when I had to ask her for something simple that most children wouldn’t think twice about asking for. I would even hesitate to knock on her bedroom door to ask if she could sign my permission slip for school, I didn’t want to disrupt her because I knew she was exhausted from a long day of taking care of  all of us. I wondered how one person could do so much in their day, and still be available to help everyone around her. I couldn’t fathom  how one little 5’4 lady  had so much energy to share, and I used to jokingly ask her if she was really human, she seemed unreal to me…..My mother’s example taught me what selflessness was, and it set the bar high for what I expected out of others. I thought this is how all people are, but that notion dissolved quickly as I grew up…..

In a society that teaches “Me” and “I” comes first, putting your time and energy into another without expecting anything in return, in my opinion, is rare. But now that I’m grown, I do see why it’s a rarity, because one can only take so  much and give so much…Unfortunately people who constantly give, have higher expectations put on them from others. As the anniversary of my mother’s passing approaches, every year since her passing I reminisce about the “little” things she did for us, and the kind, giving spirit she had. She never complained or showed any signs of discontent through all the years, but obviously she was under immense amounts of stress and pressure, and that’s what eventually contributed to her untimely death…..

I’m going to dig deeper into this topic in my next blog, stay tuned.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely

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