My Quest For Closure:My Battle πŸ₯Š With⏳ Time, PT 2 βŒšβ€¦..

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the weather was close to perfect. I decided to hop on the streetcar and do a long walk, to a shop that I’d been meaning to go to pre-shutdown. I hadn’t visited this intersection in a year, and the last time I’d been round the corner I was a child. There was a restaurant that I wanted to go to, I was craving a bean burrito. I decided to walk down the people filled street, with restrictions lifted, it looked chaotic.

As I walked down the street, I was shocked at how busy it was! There were three times as many people, as the vacant street that I had walked down. There were pockets of homeless people, on both sides of the streets. I was taken aback, because I don’t remember this street being this way. My first instinct was to turn right back around and hop on the first bus back towards home. I felt overwhelmed, for a few seconds, very uneasy, uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure why. I took a breath, and shook it off. I realized that I was allowing myself to let fear take over me. I was afraid to face the confusion of my childhood trauma, the feeling unsettled from constantly moving around. The places I had faint but yet strangely familiar memories of, walking with my Mother and all of us kids. I had no reason to let fear guide me now, and I wanted to see this strangely familiar street. This street resonated with my soul, as many streets in Toronto do. I decided to continue walking, and walk strong, as my mother always said to me.

I started to feel a sense of nostalgia, as I approached the local Toronto public library. I immediately wanted to pull out my phone to take a pic, but somebody was sitting on the grass in front, taking selfies. I didn’t want to disturb them, by pointing my phone towards them, as that may make them uncomfortable. I try to exercise good phone photo etiquette while in public, so I decided not to take the pic. I told myself that while the weather is good, I will be sure to return and take a photo.

As I waited for my food at a chill classic authentic Mexican restaurant, I felt a sense of relief. I was happy that I continued walking and exploring the block. I felt a sense of pride, and closure. I walked to the bus stop with the heaviest burrito I had ever bought in my life, and headed home.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

~ Dawn Lovely

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Just Some Thoughts πŸ€”:Our New Norm πŸš‰πŸšŒ ….

The new norm has been bittersweet for me from the start, but it’s come with many blessings in disguise. For one, I was able to take a break from long commutes to work, and work from home again. I was over and done with commuting in packed subway stations. I was relieved, and ecstatic about the government enforced “social distancing” rule applied to the GTA transit system. It was the perfect rule to enforce, for many reasons. For one, some subway stations are over crowded to a point where it’s not safe, when walking through. Secondly, when buses are over crowded, drivers continue taking more people in, or they drive right past you. You may be waiting for a bus for thirty minutes, and it passes you by. Without before warning, you may be late for work or an appointment. On top it, your fare may expire and you’ll have to pay again, so annoying!

The first time I took the TTC after almost a year, and hopped on a bus, I felt as though I was in a dream. The yellow social distance signs all over the seats…. Folks are literally NOT ALLOWED to sit directly beside you??!!Wow! You mean, I don’t have to deal with a stranger falling asleep on my shoulder? Sounds good to me! I don’t have to anticipate, how to politely ask a stranger, for some “space” to squeeze by them from the window seat. My personal space feels protected, the way that it should in public. I feel much more relaxed and enjoy the ride.The seat beside me will be free for my bags, and I have all the space that I need. Traveling on the TTC has been a pleasure, since these rules have been enforced. It’s one change for our new norm that I did not need to adapt to. I’m definitely used to it!

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

~Dawn Lovely

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