Under The Weather…..

I was under the weather for a week or so, and I lost my voice due to the very harsh wind and cold. I’ve never had laryngitis in my life, and it came at the worst time ever. I had to postpone a few things, including singing, which was sad. I’m preparing to record but my vocals chords couldn’t do it. This was a sign that my body needed rest, and I need to preserve what was left, I barely had a whisper.

I was trying not to write about weather, but the state of the weather is very relevant, especially lately. It has been up and down on a daily basis, extreme highs and lows. What used to be 10 degrees, the start of spring, a relief from the long winter season, now feels equivalent to -10 degrees. No weather report can prepare you for the unpredictable and powerful winds. This weather truly blows my mind, and if you reside in Toronto Canada, you know exactly what I’m talking about…

It started to rain on my way home from the grocery store today, and on my way there it was a lot warmer than expected. I wanted to take off my jacket, but I was worried the wind would get me. I feared that l would catch a cold again, or something even worse. So much thought put out into a simple walk to the store. There was absolutely no sign of rain to come, and I’m usually in tune with the weather.

Whether or not the weather (no pun intended) is natural or influenced by man, we still are at it’s mercy. There is only so much that we can do to bear with it. I’m less interested in all the theories/conspiracy theories that I used to ponder regarding the weather and “Who” controls it. If pollution and our abuse of this planet has contributed to damaging our weather pattern, we really can’t complain.

In my opinion the weather represents the fact that we truly are under it, the weather RULES. If it happens to snow “out of the blue” again I will not be surprised, nor will I be angry at the weather.

Rest well and have a good night

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Helplessness(Continued)…..

I didn’t intend on talking about the weather again, but yesterday evening I found myself caught up in the #Toronto terrible winter storm. I left work 10 minutes early and rushed to the subway to avoid missing the one GoBus that goes to my part of the city. Although I knew I’d be okay, I had NO idea when I’d get home or even close to the area my family resides. Ironically, the one GoBus that didn’t come was mine, and I didn’t know why. It only runs twice a day, so if you miss it, you’re screwed. When the weather is this serious, no more phone calls can be made to ask where or why. You simply have to wait it out until further notice. I thought damn, this is not the place to be and this is definitely NOT the weather! I couldn’t take a taxi, I couldn’t call family or friends, I couldn’t go back to work. I was left with no options. Stranded on the other side of the city in an area that I am not familiar with, Uh Oh….

I met three ladies while waiting for the same “ghost” bus, and struck up a conversation regarding the commute confusion. As we stood in the waiting area patiently, I became a part of their group. They made sure to give me updates because they knew somebody who had an inside link to the bus company. We waited 3 hours, but nothing. Many cars and buses were stopped up due to the heavy snowfall, the whole road was stopped up. It was rush hour at a very busy intersection, TOTAL chaos! Tow-trucks, people pushing cars, etc….Nobody could move. The snow continued to blow and come down, I was beginning to feel pins and needles in my hands.

Finally, a kind driver decided to allow all of the people left behind to load his bus and take us to nearest mall. He was also ensuring we would at least be warm while we waited. Unfortunately after an approx 1 hour wait, we weren’t able to move, so we had to reverse and go right back into the station. I thought, welp, I guess I’ll have to go back downstairs to the delayed train??? I don’t know what to do…Then I was approached by one of the group, she told me that they were taking the train, aaaall the way to the mall that is supposed to have a bus waiting for us that will bring us home. It was almost midnight and I had nothing to lose at this point. I appreciated the fact they actually cared that I arrived home that night.

I was worried that this supposed bus wasn’t going to arrive, so I told the ladies that I was planning on taking my usual route home, the way I know. Regardless of how long it takes, or the delays, at least I know where I’m going. They reassured me that their way would bring us home, and I didn’t need to worry.

So, I decided to trust these kind strangers and let them lead the way, which was hard for me to do, it felt like a test. It made me feel more helpless than ever! I guess putting my safety and well-being fully in another’s hands, a stranger’s hands, may help me to accept it’s okay be helpless and accept help?

I graciously Thanked those kind ladies before exiting the bus. I arrived home in one piece, after trudging through knee-high snow, and unplowed sidewalks. My family said they were relieved that I made it home safe and sound, but I was even more Thankful for what I learned in those 6 hours.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Helplessness(Part One)…..

I meant to post this thought last week on one of the coldest days I’ve ever experienced in my life!!!

Today was -16 degrees but weather reports say that it “feels” like -28. The temperature actually dropped lower than that, it went close to -30 plus. I only went outside because I had to, that weather is lethal. I felt as though I was going to pass out soon as I walked outside. The wind was intense and powerful, and I was afraid that I was going to fall or faint because I was already sick. I haven’t felt worried about my safety and out of control because of the weather in a very long time. I felt weak and helpless, but turning around and trying to walk back inside would’ve been a struggle, it literally felt like walking through ice. I stuck it out and stayed outside, I couldn’t let the weather change my day and my goals. I hate to feel helpless, I realized that was a stupid to stay outside. Something triggered me, I realized that being helpless is one of my biggest fears, and I actually consider it a “character flaw” which I know is wrong. I feel completely out of control and even more ashamed for that, and I know that is wrong too.

I’ve blamed myself for life occurences that I had absolutely no control over. Where did this feeling start? At what point in my life? The Truth is, it started from a very young age, at an age when I couldn’t do or say anything to stop the wrong I was feeling. There’s more to the story, but I’ll continue in another blog.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W