Summer is officially over and that kiss of autumn crispness is in the air. So the heat is finally on, and I almost forgot to open the vents, I was walking around feeling chilly, and forgot that I had that option. Summer disappeared over night as quick as showed up over night. The summer sun was blasting upon us yesterday, but I could feel autumn coming. My absolute favourite season, and time of year. Too warm for a light weight coat, but not warm enough to go on the road without one. So just to be safe, I carry one in my carry bag.
On the streets, folks hold on to what’s left of summer, still wearing shorts and sandals, but we all know summer is over. After three solid months of it, it’s time to say goodbye. We do this every year, but the sorrow that 2020 has bestowed upon us, has us holding on for dear life.
Yesterday my bestie cousin messaged me about another young man, a friend of ours who’s life has ended due to a traffic accident. He was one of those people who had a very bright light inside, that you could see in his eyes.
He was excited about life and was always doing something interesting with his time. His energy always reminded me of a celebrity, I always considered him a celebrity in his own right. He left a positive impression on everyone he met, and nobody had a bad word to say about him. He was riding his motorcycle ironically, when he got into the accident, which he loved to do.
My cousin chose not to share the news with me until a few days after she found out.
She was worried that it may be too hard for me to handle, she apologized for having to give me, “more bad news”.
It’s that time of year though, after momma’s passing anniversary, when I prepare for the shift the universe will bring. The season is changing back to cold, the leaves turning colour, look so lovely to me.
That’s all that I can say for now, I’m operating off just a little sleep. I’ll continue in another post, have a productive day.
Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.
Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely
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change
The🦋Butterfly Dream…..
Day by day I practice telling my mind, to instruct my body to let the stress go. To simply release the negative thought or feeling and put it out, not let it manifest for more than thirty seconds. I remind myself that I do not have control over everything, and in time it’ll work out.
When I’m feeling unsure or insecure about a change, my dreams will often reflect those feelings. The other night I had a short dream about a colourful butterfly that was flying all around the house. It was actually the fam’s new pet, an exotic pet a strange but pleasant surprise. In the last scene the butterfly became injured some way. I told my family, and the called a vet to the house who mended the wound. I was relieved as I watched the beautiful butterfly get back to flying again. When I awoke I felt calm and satisfied. I felt a sense of peace and reassurance remembering my dream. I looked up the symbol of a butterfly in the dream dictionary, and it all made sense. There has been a string of misfortunes we’ve all been affected by, so I shared my dream with my family. I told them that the dream was a little strange, but was good for us all. I’m headed in the right direction, better yet we’re headed in the right direction!
Good Night and Good Sleep:)
Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely
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(Cont’d)Shame&Hunger🍞🙁 Pains…..
I remember a very important and inspiring statement said by a famous singer in an interview. I won’t quote her, but she spoke about healing from trauma brought on by her tumultuous divorce. The betrayal from her husband hurt her to a point where it was affecting her physical health. She grew up in poverty and many a time, did not have lunch to bring to school. She said dealing with being hungry as a child pales in comparison to her current pain. Her analogy touched my soul because it was true, I could relate. I’ve used it as a point of reference over the years.
Getting through the hard times is inevitable, I just need to remind myself to be easier on myself. The hunger Pains won’t last long, their only natural. Shame comes from trying to hide them, and there is no reason to feel the need to hide them. There is no shame in hunger Pains. Stay tuned for my next post.
Good Night 🙂
Love&Respect,
Dawn Lovely
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Shame&Hunger🍞🙁 Pains…..
There’s no shame in the struggle we sometimes have to endure while going through tough times. If you are steadily working at improving yourself or living standard, difficulties will arise. It’s an important part of the struggle, that I am still learning to embrace, instead of resent. Going through “hiccups”, tough times, can take a toll on your confidence, especially if you usually have your stuff together. An unexpected change in your circumstances, or a mishap/mistake can cause you to feel a sense of shame. I’ve felt that way many times in my life, and lately I’ve been feeling that way. I will usually fall silent and stay to myself, because I am solely focused on getting myself to a comfortable position. I’ve been told by friends and family that I “disappear” or go M.I.A, and I don’t intend coming off that way. I realized the other day, that I am trying to hide the fact that I’m struggling, and feel insecure. It feels as though I am trying to hiding, the way I try to hide hunger pains, and a growling stomach. Have you ever had to hide the sound of your stomach growling because you were afraid people would hear it? Have you ever had to hide the fact that you were truly hungry and didn’t know if or when you were getting your next meal? It forces you to come up with lies to cover up that you are actually hungry, especially if you haven’t been eating.
There is no shame in hunger pains, and I have more to share, but I’ll continue in my next post.
Good Night 🙂
Love&Respect,
Dawn Lovely
Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W
Under The Weather…..
I was under the weather for a week or so, and I lost my voice due to the very harsh wind and cold. I’ve never had laryngitis in my life, and it came at the worst time ever. I had to postpone a few things, including singing, which was sad. I’m preparing to record but my vocals chords couldn’t do it. This was a sign that my body needed rest, and I need to preserve what was left, I barely had a whisper.
I was trying not to write about weather, but the state of the weather is very relevant, especially lately. It has been up and down on a daily basis, extreme highs and lows. What used to be 10 degrees, the start of spring, a relief from the long winter season, now feels equivalent to -10 degrees. No weather report can prepare you for the unpredictable and powerful winds. This weather truly blows my mind, and if you reside in Toronto Canada, you know exactly what I’m talking about…
It started to rain on my way home from the grocery store today, and on my way there it was a lot warmer than expected. I wanted to take off my jacket, but I was worried the wind would get me. I feared that l would catch a cold again, or something even worse. So much thought put out into a simple walk to the store. There was absolutely no sign of rain to come, and I’m usually in tune with the weather.
Whether or not the weather (no pun intended) is natural or influenced by man, we still are at it’s mercy. There is only so much that we can do to bear with it. I’m less interested in all the theories/conspiracy theories that I used to ponder regarding the weather and “Who” controls it. If pollution and our abuse of this planet has contributed to damaging our weather pattern, we really can’t complain.
In my opinion the weather represents the fact that we truly are under it, the weather RULES. If it happens to snow “out of the blue” again I will not be surprised, nor will I be angry at the weather.
Rest well and have a good night
Love&Respect,
~Dawn Lovely
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Daddy& Expectations(Continued)…..
What did I expect??? Have I set the bar too high???, Why is this even bothering me?? I thought I was passed this, I know how he can be…..What is going on here???
I was disappointed in myself for expecting so much out of him, even though this wasn’t much to expect. It was what I had grown accustomed to, and that was embarrassing to me. I was ashamed and embarrassed, almost felt like a child. The feeling didn’t last for long though. Within seconds I decided that I wouldn’t even warrant his message with a response, a response was not needed. I received my answer and this marked a new chapter in our relationship, and in my life. I understood so much more who he really is, and that he is much more broken than I knew. My natural intuition did not pick up on this, because I was still getting to know the “older” version of him and from a distance. The checking in texts and short phone calls could only go so far, and to top it off, I am one of six. My efforts at times are over-shadowed by whatever’s going on with them. It seems we are going backwards, and the more he punishes himself, the further he’s pushing me away. I don’t think he’s aware of it. Very sad, and is a waste of time, because we had come so far, so I thought…
The expectations I have in life, especially with men in relationships, and even friends and family, have been influenced heavily by my expectations of my father. I’m still checking myself on it. I am aware that I hope for the best, yet subconsciously expect whatever to happen, which is not cool. This situation was significant, because it reminded me that I can not expect others to grow as fast as I expect, regardless of how much I do on my part….
There’s more to share, but I gotta go to bed now, stay tuned for my next blog. Have a Good Night 🙂
Love&Respect,
~Dawn Lovely
Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely
Dawn Lovely says.................. 