Just Some Thoughts šŸ¤”: Coping With Death And Social MediašŸ“±šŸ’»…..

I understand that in this age, social media is therapeutic for many to express their feelings. Maybe it’s just me, but posting on social media is not my first thought after hearing news of a loved ones passing. Devastating news takes more than a minute to sink in, and death is the hardest to process. I’ve expressed my opinion in the past, regarding what I consider irresponsible use of social media RE loved ones. I am naturally a reserved and shy person to a degree. It took me years to get used to posting daily, especially my actual current thoughts. I don’t mind sharing, but it’s important to process your thoughts, so you can understand them, before sharing. The problem with death, is that everyone process death differently, and folks may get you twisted, based upon what you do or don’t post. I’ve witnessed a few celebrities be attacked or trolled online for posting “too late” on the passing of a loved one. I find that completely insane. It astounds me how relatives of celebrities deal with the passing of their famous relatives while the world posts their face. I do understand it comes along with the territory, but imagine not knowing that they passed away, and that’s the first thing you see! That would be difficult to deal with, for me at least.I couldn’t imagine total strangers re-posting info and details that I didn’t know about, especially when the news is fresh. About a week ago, I found out a very close friend of the family that was like family to us had passed away in a fatal car accident. I had to contact a relative to confirm that the news was true. The feeling of not knowing frustrated and annoyed me. It’s wrong to find out about the passing of a friend or relative via social media because it you can’t trust that the info is true. It’s the same as seeing a post about a celebrity death on a blog site or social media. You don’t necessarily know if the news is true, it could all be hearsay. Folks don’t hesitate to post, or re-post a story without fact checking first.
It’s horrifying to unknowingly log into your social media account, instantly see a photo of a friend or relative, with a blown up photo on your screen with the caption “Rest In Peace”.
This is all my opinion of course, I don’t expect my friends and family to feel the same way however, there’s nothing better than direct contact when handling mourning. I love to celebrate what that person brought to my life, with the people who knew and loved them best. There’s nothing better than the real thing, and talking about the best they brought to our lives keeps their light alive.

I’ll leave it at that for now, this is never an easy topic to write about but I hope you find the logic in my thoughts.

Take Care, Stay safe, and Stay tuned.

Love and Respect,
~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

šŸ™„A Friend Request…..

You were never the shy type, always outspoken, never mincing words when speaking your mind. I admired that about you. I actually thought you were a meaner dude, until I got the chance to get to know you. You were definitely not who they say you were. Throughout your personal struggles, your words mattered to me more than their opinions about you. I had your back through it all even though I didn’t understand your addiction. I was a trooper through it all, until I had to let go. I accepted that you were not ready to accept help and support, even from me. I had to let go, you weren’t the same person anymore, you told me. I finally accepted the truth.

Last year when you called me, I answered. We always had a genuine connection, and I dreamt you the night before out of the blue, so I knew I was going to hear from you. I could only say so much about myself, but I was delighted to tell you about the dream I had about you, it was positive. You looked healthy and happier.

I’m not sure if you got what you wanted out of our awkward conversation. I did sense that you didn’t expect me to be different. You seemed to be stuck on who you used to know.

I wasn’t bothered after hanging up, I guess because I no longer had expectations of you. It took me years and years to come to peace with who you became, and I did miss the old you.

I happened to check my Facebook and your “friend” request took me by surprise. A friend request does not change where we stand in reality but sure, I’ll add you…..

Stay tuned for my next post, Good night and Good sleep:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

About “Unfriending”….

A tweet by a friend caught my eye about being “unfriended” on social media. It said something to the tune of, “If a person unfriends you, it means they REALLY don’t “f#$&” with you” and this got me to thinking…..

First off, if we have contact with people in the real world, then social media should only be a SECOND means of communication. Unfortunately social media has become the new medium for socializing, in our daily lives, replacing phone calls and even texting. I’m still not on board with that.

Back in the day when social media was still a new thing, my peers pressured me into getting a Facebook account. They were so excited to reunite with former classmates. I finally gave in and joined, with little enthusiasm, until I started using it. I thought it was pretty cool! But had my reservations. It was weird that people who were not my friend, in high school were sending me repeat friend requests. I treated it as I would in real life, I ignored their request. I didn’t think much of it, it was cyberspace to me, those people couldn’t have cared that much right?

These platforms were fun to use, exciting at the beginning. Social media politics, and “friending” politics were not an issue to me. I didn’t take “unfriending” someone seriously when I first started using social media. Many of my “friends” were people whom I’ve never met, and I’m sure they wouldn’t have noticed if I unfriended them. I thought the purpose of unfriending, was to stop seeing posts on your timeline, that you’d rather not see. With all the random people, unknowns and possible trolls, I considered it asinine. Unfriending, Profiles, and Posts are not people! My friends and loved ones don’t even have to follow me if they didn’t want to. As long as our real life relationship is in tact, I’m okay.

Think twice about the value you place on others, especially friends and family RE social media. Equating your Real relationship, to your social media “likes” from them will never balance out.


~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Social Media Rants on “Loved Ones”…..

I have witnessed some of the most malicious, immature, uncouth behaviour on social media expressed in written public posts by folks towards their own loved ones. Ever since social media became the “go to” place for daily basic communication, posting a 1000 character rant about an issue with a “loved one” has become the norm to see on any social media site. I cringe when I log into my account and glance at my feeds to seeĀ an open letter that addresses a person by name. Without warning, I am exposed to terrible descriptive language about somebody who I know, or in some cases don’t, but am now left with a negative impression of them….

I just finished having a conversation with a friend of mine about posting personal rants about loved ones on social media. She has done this time and time again, and I’ve told her I will NOT go and read them…I can’t support that. She shared with me her most recent rant/post.Ā I told her thatĀ I would be sharing my thoughts on this in my blog, and use her situation as an exampleĀ because I feel very strongly about this trend. I haven’t had anybody that I’m close with do it to me, but that could be because they know it’s a rule that I live by and have, since social media became mainstream. I would rather be yelled at or ranted to by a loved one, than read a page length rant by a loved one addressed to the WORLD.Ā I truly don’t like it and it’s one of my pet peeves! I’ve told her before: Posting your personal thoughts and feelings about a loved one, will NOT remedy the problem you want to fix.Ā It will only make your relationship Ā worse, and in addition, bring more people into that problem. But sinceĀ there are two sides to every story, I will address both….

I listened to her reasoning behind posting a rant on her page about her boyfriend or now, “ex-boyfriend” who she hoped to be able to speak to, but of course these rants have pushed him further away and caused him and other people to block her on social media and in reality. She explained that she wanted to get herĀ side of the story out, and make sure all their friends and family know that she’s NOT the wrong one…..Of course naturally, people tend to take the side of their relative, so thatĀ did not help…..I told her to write her feelings down to herself, before impulsively posting. I sympathize with the fact that she wanted to defend herself, however this is not the way to go about it. As a friend who tries to be as loyal as possible, I can not listen to the aftermath of what a new public post causes. So far, it has done nothing but alienate more relatives, friends and family. I told her, try waiting patiently and see what happens, instead of posting…..you may be surprised how quick things change…..

I remember Ā the good ole days of writing a letter on paper, passing off that letter and hoping…..It could mean the end of your relationship or could lead to resolving the problem.Ā There were less options available for communication, so the wait, the awkward phone call, or the meet up, had to happen, or you wouldn’t be able to communicate at all…..

That’s all I have to say about that.


~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely

Subscribe to Blog and it will be sent to your email, Follow button is at the bottom right of page šŸ™‚