I have witnessed some of the most malicious, immature, uncouth behaviour on social media expressed in written public posts by folks towards their own loved ones. Ever since social media became the “go to” place for daily basic communication, posting a 1000 character rant about an issue with a “loved one” has become the norm to see on any social media site. I cringe when I log into my account and glance at my feeds to see an open letter that addresses a person by name. Without warning, I am exposed to terrible descriptive language about somebody who I know, or in some cases don’t, but am now left with a negative impression of them….

I just finished having a conversation with a friend of mine about posting personal rants about loved ones on social media. She has done this time and time again, and I’ve told her I will NOT go and read them…I can’t support that. She shared with me her most recent rant/post. I told her that I would be sharing my thoughts on this in my blog, and use her situation as an example because I feel very strongly about this trend. I haven’t had anybody that I’m close with do it to me, but that could be because they know it’s a rule that I live by and have, since social media became mainstream. I would rather be yelled at or ranted to by a loved one, than read a page length rant by a loved one addressed to the WORLD. I truly don’t like it and it’s one of my pet peeves! I’ve told her before: Posting your personal thoughts and feelings about a loved one, will NOT remedy the problem you want to fix. It will only make your relationship  worse, and in addition, bring more people into that problem. But since there are two sides to every story, I will address both….

I listened to her reasoning behind posting a rant on her page about her boyfriend or now, “ex-boyfriend” who she hoped to be able to speak to, but of course these rants have pushed him further away and caused him and other people to block her on social media and in reality. She explained that she wanted to get her side of the story out, and make sure all their friends and family know that she’s NOT the wrong one…..Of course naturally, people tend to take the side of their relative, so that did not help…..I told her to write her feelings down to herself, before impulsively posting. I sympathize with the fact that she wanted to defend herself, however this is not the way to go about it. As a friend who tries to be as loyal as possible, I can not listen to the aftermath of what a new public post causes. So far, it has done nothing but alienate more relatives, friends and family. I told her, try waiting patiently and see what happens, instead of posting…..you may be surprised how quick things change…..

I remember  the good ole days of writing a letter on paper, passing off that letter and hoping…..It could mean the end of your relationship or could lead to resolving the problem. There were less options available for communication, so the wait, the awkward phone call, or the meet up, had to happen, or you wouldn’t be able to communicate at all…..

That’s all I have to say about that.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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