I haven’t posted a blog in a few months…..I could have posted one last week, or even yesterday, but I was preoccupied dealing with my problems and worrying…Trying to come up with solutions to my problems, and contemplating how I allowed myself to get to this point…..I couldn’t post because I wasn’t in my writing vibe, I didn’t feel like “myself”……I couldn’t put a positive spin on how I felt, so kept it to myself…I didn’t want to be a “Debbie Downer”, otherwise, I would’ve wrote…..
I feel guilty for neglecting my blog, and all of my excuses haven’t helped me feel any better. The Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s, are a distraction, they NEVER help…They almost feel like an addiction. I eventually woke myself up from their trance, and I feel refreshed and renewed. I realized what I was doing to myself, what I’ve been doing to myself, looking back, instead of looking forward to what I CAN do…..
I can’t get back the time I wasted, or undue what’s already been done, I can’t go back and refuse the help that I chose to receive, but ended up putting me in a WORSE position….I was not in control of the unfortunate circumstance that ended up putting me out of my home, the place I thought I was going to build my business…..If you keep up with my blog, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m working on conquering my vices the older I get, but I stumble sometimes and my fears creep up and I don’t always shoo them away…..Blaming myself for what I Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda did is a symptom of my fears and admitting that to myself was harder than sharing this blog with you.
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2 thoughts on “Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda…..”
I’m glad to finally read a post from you again. I was wondering what was wrong… I am currently also in a bit of a “funk” and my blog is suffering the most (not to mention my health and mood). Thanks for sharing this. Once again, you have inspired me to press on.
All the best with your future endeavours. If you blog is anything to go by, you’ll do just fine 🙂
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Feels good to hear that 🙂 Thanks Stella.