It’s almost 5:00am and I’m glad tobe back in my writing groove, I haven’t posted in a month, and I’ve been adding pieces to the draft of this blog for a week. I’m going through some stressful life stuff, relating to the aftermath of the flood last year. Family and friends have been supportive, sending me words of encouragement, which has helped a lot. I feel as though last year was a looong test that I passed, but there’s more to learn and apply and I’m at the new start of a new chapter of my life. I’d like to share this with you…..
I’ve come to grips with the fact I just might be a “Control Freak” to an extent, and that’s not easy for me to admit, because I’ve never considered myself one. I’ve been exposed to many self-proclaimed Control Freaks during the course of my life, and I understood their need to have things “their way.” I found myself effortlessly adhering to their demands, making sure I put EVERYTHING in the EXACT correct place, following directions to their satisfaction…..I felt that their “Control Freak” ways, were simply a part of their personality, so I shouldn’t be bothered by it, but Control Freaks can be difficult to satisfy, and they may NEVER be satisfied no matter how much you care to appease them…I’ve never encountered a “chill” control freak, they always seem to be on edge, which is not cool and wearisome to deal with……I realized that when I allow my mentality to become controlling over what is supposed to happen, that I’m essentially blocking The Most High/ blocking my blessings, hence blocking my own path….Getting in my own way.
Since the start of the year I feel like I’m coming into a fresh new part of my adult life, but it’s coming together in a manner which I never could’ve anticipated. After my accident in January, I vowed that I would take it easy, not rush, and try to go with the flow. Unfortunately the events that took place late last year have put me in a position that has backed up my initial plans for 2016/2017 and my mind hasn’t been in “zen” mode, but in rush mode…..
I caught myself though, and since I’ve given up control, this tough time feels like a walk in the park, and I’m focusing on what I can do, which is all I can do.
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