lessons

The Importance of Structure & Daily Priorities📝…..

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

Continuing from my last blog…

I was saying that one of the most important life lessons that my mother instilled in me, is to live by a daily with a structure, and to have boundaries. My mother lead by example, and showed me how daily priorities are always the TOP priority, no matter what. She woke up early every morning to cook us breakfast and to prepare tea, or some type of hot drink. Even when food was short, she would prepare us dumplings (that tasted awesome with margarine and jam) and make enough to feed a village. Socializing, watching TV, and idle time comes second. Have you ever heard that saying, “Idle dog worry sheep” it’s an old saying that Jamaican’s say. There is too much to do in a day to be idle, wasting time wandering around can only lead to problems. I couldn’t blurt out “I’m bored….” because I may get the unasked for response, “Go read a book!”

Daily priorities aren’t “chores”, they are as important as breathing or walking. Without them, a normal day could become the most chaotic day of your life. I came up with the anology that they are simply equivalent to a VIP guest, that you must tend to everyday.

Your space should be your sanctuary, regardless of how big or small it is, or what you have. Growing up with many siblings and being a twin, I didn’t have much control over my home environment, and it really frustrated me at times. I shared a room with my twin for many years, and as different as we were, we agreed on how our room should function. We rearranged our room every so often, and we treated it as though we were interior designers. We kept our room clean and organized, and took pride in our space. I enjoyed sharing my space with my sister, but it was cool when I finally had my own room. Creating my own sense of comfort in my own space was liberating, that’s why I didn’t mind moving out alone on my own. I’m a “home body” and I enjoy the comfort of being in my own space. I enjoy my privacy, I protect my privacy essentially to protect my health, and of course my mental health. That is what it all boils down to.

Stay tuned for my next blog, good night:)

Love and Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

🌹The Day After Mother’s Day…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

Forgive me, for this post is delayed….

I intended on posting this the day after Mother’s Day, but I didn’t, because my heart was too full in a good and sad way.

Every year is different, and I didn’t know how I’d feel this year. I try not to take holidays seriously in general, so I didn’t think I’d be affected. I chose not to participate in the family’s Mother’s Day gathering because I felt as though I had no reason to be there. As negative as that sounds, I truly felt that way. My closest bestie cousin told me that everyone missed me, and was asking about me. That was surprising, because I’m always around, I just wasn’t up for it. They couldn’t understand how I feel, and I expect that, it’s been this way since she passed away. I admitted to myself that the things that haven’ t been settled or completed yet, make me feel sad and disappointed. It takes away from the comforting memories that float through my mind. I thought about what the most important lessons I learned from her, and how much I miss having a regular conversation with her. I thought about how much I’ve grown and I understand even more the reasons behind certain lessons. Her strict methods and explanations have never left me.

One of her most important lessons, if not thee most important lesson that she taught by example, is establishing a daily routine, having structure and boundaries. It has helped me navigate through rough and trying times. It has protected me from the stresses of this world, like a shield. I don’t know where I’d be without it, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

I have much more to say RE routine, structure and boundaries in life, but I have to go sleep now. Good night and Good morning😊, catch you in my next blog!

Love &Respect,

Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

We Have What We Need(Part 2)…..

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Last year I watched a few documentaries regarding the crisis in Venezuela. I was aware of what was going on over there, but seeing it was another story. Watching footage of the grocery stores empty, a low toilet paper supply was a big wake up call. Some of the people stated, “They never expected that it would come to this”. They were not expecting to have to leave their home, and live on the streets with their children. They didn’t expect to only have enough to feed their toddler once a day. Their access to the basics changed, items like milk, eggs and bread no longer available. Their environment became chaotic, and unlivable. At this point in time, for many, obtaining basic needs rules their daily existence.

We’ve all been guilty of taking our daily bread for granted. I grew up and have only lived in Toronto and the”GTA” so I am accustomed to certain standard of living. Whether you are penny pinching or thriving in this economy, you expect to wake up and be able to purchase the basics from your neighborhood corner store.

I am relieved every time I step out of the shower after a long day. My stress and troubles are eased away in addition to being clean. I couldn’t imagine not having that luxury, and I do not take it for granted. If tomorrow you woke up without access to clean running water, you would think about yesterday when you had that water. If you didn’t mop your floor or wash your dishes, you would be yearning for that water to flow from your faucet.

We have what we need to live, life is simpler once you realize that. We have what we need to live, so use what you have now to do what you’re supposed to do.

Have a safe and productive Saturday:)

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

We Have What We Need…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

Why can’t people simply put their garbage down the garbage chute, instead of leaving it on the floor???I take a big breath and give myself ten seconds, to help prevent me from becoming angry. I am easily triggered by unnecessary mess, especially when it’s in a common, public space that everyone needs to use. I’m very disgusted and disappointed each and every time I see it. We are a “civilized” society with a very advanced waste disposal system. Even with all of the building notices, and hand written notices by tenants and superintendent warnings posted, folks still don’t do what is required of them. We don’t have much work to do expect bagging and putting out the garbage, according to basic guidelines. It never seizes to amaze me, that regardless of the “type” of building, I see the same laziness. The chute is very easy to use, and very convenient, even a four year old can use it with ease. My four year old nephew loves to help me throw the garbage down the chute. I don’t want him to turn the handle by himself, but he always goes on ahead and tries to do it on his own. He finds it fun, as little children find learning to do chores fun. So I allow him to help, because it encourages good habits he’ll need when he’s older. Even he understands that there should not be any bags of garbage on the floor, and helps me push them down the chute without hesitation. I laugh at his enthusiasm and innocence, because he takes it very seriously as though it was his job. Four year olds are awesome, but I digress….

So, as a civilization, we have what we need to live, so it baffles me that the more advanced we become, the lazier we allow ourselves to become. Maybe I’m wrong, this is just an observation, and the garbage chute is only one example. Have you ever seen trash thrown on the ground outside, literally ONE foot away from the trash can? Or trash thrown directly beside the trash can?? I find that absolutely ridiculous, unless the wind blew it there, how come they didn’t simply drop it in? Here in Toronto, we even have trash cans that have a valve that you can step on, to avoid touching the flap with your hands. Very, very convenient! I just noticed that the other day, now I use that valve all of the time. I have more to say on this topic, to be continued…

Rest well and have a good night,

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, ://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Under The Weather…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

I was under the weather for a week or so, and I lost my voice due to the very harsh wind and cold. I’ve never had laryngitis in my life, and it came at the worst time ever. I had to postpone a few things, including singing, which was sad. I’m preparing to record but my vocals chords couldn’t do it. This was a sign that my body needed rest, and I need to preserve what was left, I barely had a whisper.

I was trying not to write about weather, but the state of the weather is very relevant, especially lately. It has been up and down on a daily basis, extreme highs and lows. What used to be 10 degrees, the start of spring, a relief from the long winter season, now feels equivalent to -10 degrees. No weather report can prepare you for the unpredictable and powerful winds. This weather truly blows my mind, and if you reside in Toronto Canada, you know exactly what I’m talking about…

It started to rain on my way home from the grocery store today, and on my way there it was a lot warmer than expected. I wanted to take off my jacket, but I was worried the wind would get me. I feared that l would catch a cold again, or something even worse. So much thought put out into a simple walk to the store. There was absolutely no sign of rain to come, and I’m usually in tune with the weather.

Whether or not the weather (no pun intended) is natural or influenced by man, we still are at it’s mercy. There is only so much that we can do to bear with it. I’m less interested in all the theories/conspiracy theories that I used to ponder regarding the weather and “Who” controls it. If pollution and our abuse of this planet has contributed to damaging our weather pattern, we really can’t complain.

In my opinion the weather represents the fact that we truly are under it, the weather RULES. If it happens to snow “out of the blue” again I will not be surprised, nor will I be angry at the weather.

Rest well and have a good night

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, ://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(Continued)It’s Bigger Than Teeth…..

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I felt ashamed for needing my mother at this point in my life, I felt extremely vulnerable….My tooth pain brought me back to a different place. As I tossed and turned trying my best to fall asleep. I tried to bear the sensation that I can best describe as knives stabbing me repeatedly. I reluctantly took an advil, and tried to distract myself by listening to a program, then I felt to call out for my mother for help. At that moment I felt that I needed to hear her voice, to have her reassure me that the pain was only temporary. I felt she was the only person who could understand.

I remember after I moved out on my own, one night I slept over at the mom’s house and wasn’t feeling well. I was coming down with the early stages of a cold, coughing, curled up on the couch with a blanket. I fell asleep, and as I awoke, my mother was standing in front of me with a glass of fresh orange juice mixed with garlic. This was her amazing, quick fix remedy to cure a cold, and I was very happy to drink it. It warmed my heart that she took the time to do that because although that was her way, I forgot about the benefits of coming back home. I would usually have to get up and make my own concoction for a cold, and it was very nice having it done for me.

So the night I felt I truly needed her, I actually felt guilty for needing her, because she already gave so much of herself while she was here. She took care of me, of us, and didn’t hesitate to go the extra mile. She literally put my pain, her children’s pain ahead of hers all the time, one hundred percent. When she passed away, I felt and thought that she deserves a rest, a break from this earth plane. I replayed all the times that I was sick, it hurt or needed her to assist me with treating an illness. I thought about how much she did for me multiplayed time six, plus the other children she helped who were not hers. My gratitude and appreciation has grown more for her the older I grow. I am flattered when I am compared to her, but also saddened when reminded of her leaving…..

It’s difficult for me to witness so much lack of appreciation and willingness to carry on what the “good” people do when they are here. That is why I chose to share these thoughts. It’s bigger than teeth.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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It’s Bigger Than Teeth…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

I’ve been meaning to post since my last blog, but have been distracted, because I am in pain. I’ve been enduring tooth pain for the past weeks due to an issue with a wisdom tooth that hasn’t grown out, but is right beneath the surface wreaking havoc on the tooth beside it. It’s starting to worsen, which unfortunately is affecting my daily life, and I’ve even had to miss work.

Growing up I experienced a lot of pain due to my crooked front teeth. My mother had to bring me for x-rays often. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I constantly had headaches and pain due to my jaw alignment. My mother didn’t promote unnatural medicine, but there wasn’t much else she could do but give me aspirin to relieve it. I hated taking it. I avoided these type of medicines because of this.

Over the years I had many dentist and orthodontic appointments because of my teeth issues, and I actually enjoyed going to those appointments with my mother. It was time that I rarely got to spend with her alone, attention that I needed. I enjoyed the bus ride and going to the store without a bunch of other kids around. My mother always made sure that I was comfortable and aware of what my appointment would entail. She warned me of the possible pain I would have to endure and I appreciated that.

By looking at me know you’d never know that I wore a head-gear and braces for years. I often receive compliments for my teeth and smile. People don’t believe that I actually used to get made fun of for my severely crooked front teeth, which I will talk about in another blog.

I’ve taken the best care of my teeth as I can, even spent hundreds and hundreds due to having no dental insurance. I made sure to get those yearly check ups and keep my oral health in tact. My mother’s influence set that example. When she passed away, I thought about how much time, effort, and money that she specifically put into my teeth. She helped grow my self-esteem, a beautiful smile can go a long way in life. She invested in my teeth as a single mother struggling at times to ensure our basic needs were met.

The other night I found myself wanting to cry out for my mother. I was tossing and turning in my bed, trying to fall asleep and block out the excruciating pain I was in. I haven’t had that feeling since I was a child, and I wasn’t the type of child who cried for my mom when I was in pain. I didn’t want to stress her out, I didn’t want her to worry about me.

I felt ashamed for needing my mother at this point in my life, I felt extremely vulnerable….My tooth pain brought me back to a different place.

I will continue in my next blog, it’s bigger than teeth.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

So…..WHY Do We Do This???

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I thought it was a rumor, I didn’t look long enough to confirm if it was. I googled his name and nothing significant came up, so I left my computer and went about my business. As I walked up the stairs to leave, my aunt yelled to me, that he had been shot AND killed…

The internet is odd to me when it comes to violent acts, people lying and making up stories for attention is a norm nowadays. I don’t believe everything I hear, so I didn’t believe that anything really happened to this young man until it was confirmed. I was very upset and and felt drained at that moment. I felt sorrow, disappointment, and anger. The first thought that came to my mind was, he is so young, and didn’t get to finish his course, and what are the people going to do without him?!! What are his children and woman going to do without him?? More children left without a father, who was ACTUALLY taking care of them, AND his community. Who else has the strength and courage to build and help others the way he did???

The reason I originally started following him and taking in his music, was because of his attitude and build- it-on- your own mentality. As I received text messages about it, I couldn’t express how annoyed I was. Although I do not know him, and know he was not perfect, I still felt he deserved to at least live until forty. Who knows how much more he could’ve done and learned…

There’s something else I need to add, that’s been bothering me RE death and the internet’s manner of dealing with it. Celebrity or not, if we claim to love and admire this person so much, why would you post such a gruesome scene of their last living moments??? Do you think that HE would post the same of you if the roles were reversed??! If your relative died in violent manner caught on camera, would you want to see a video of them layed out on the ground, fighting for their life??? Of course not!!! Getting over the initial shock of them dying is difficult enough, so is a visual necessary??? Do we need to see everything?!! NO. OF COURSE NOT!

But I guess that comes along with the price of fame, everything is open for the public. I feel as though we the people, need not want to see all the details, it’s unnecessary. Famous or not, we can help with “well wishes and prayers” or just do the fair thing, that you’d want done for you or your family if you were in that tragic situation.

I don’t feel the need to post the name of who I’m talking about, I’m sure the majority of you figured it out.

I hope you get the rest you need, you accomplished much in your thirty-three years. I appreciate your lessons and encouragement and of course, your quality music.

Good Night.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

The Warmth in the Bitter Cold…..

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

I meant to share these thoughts last week….

I was supposed to go downtown this evening to meet up with a friend from out of town, but unfortunately we are having a major windstorm in Toronto. I was forced to postpone my outing due to the dangerous weather. An extreme weather safety alert had been issued, and considering the weather we’ve been having lately, I swear by the weather warnings. I avoid putting myself in a position where I’ll be stranded or possibly may get injured. This morning, I was literally being pushed by the wind, and I had to run in the direction of wind to keep it from pushing me! I felt silly, and slightly self conscious that people were watching, but it worked! I was able to fight the wind and climb on my GoBus safely! I was releived!

Once again the unruly weather has triggered me, and got me to thinking….

I never know when I’m going to have a flash back of my childhood. I remember walking with my siblings along with my mother on the busy street in the dead of winter. She always made sure we had proper winter gear, and she made us hot chocolate or tea when we arrived home. My mother made winter feel pleasant to me. I looked forward to tobogganing, ice skating and playing in the snow because she never scorned winter. That was cool, considering she was born and raised in Jamaica. Some of my fondest memories of her are from winter. Constantly commuting all around the city has put me back in places that I haven’t been since I was a little girl. As the seasons change I notice the difference in my feelings on the road. Even with the pushy congested traffic and people, I feel at peace daydreaming looking out the window. I spend a lot of time on the road, more than I would like, but it has an upside. Every morning on my commute to work, I gaze out of the window and this feeling comes over me. I pass by one of the largest most popular malls in the city, on the street we used to live. I feel safe when I see that mall, every time the bus turns into the terminal….

I realized the other day even in -20 degree weather those warm thought can take me to a safe place, temporarily, and I appreciate that.

RIP Annette, Miss you mommy.

Have a good night, and good sleep:)

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

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Daddy& Expectations(Continued)…..

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What did I expect??? Have I set the bar too high???, Why is this even bothering me?? I thought I was passed this, I know how he can be…..What is going on here???

I was disappointed in myself for expecting so much out of him, even though this wasn’t much to expect. It was what I had grown accustomed to, and that was embarrassing to me. I was ashamed and embarrassed, almost felt like a child. The feeling didn’t last for long though. Within seconds I decided that I wouldn’t even warrant his message with a response, a response was not needed. I received my answer and this marked a new chapter in our relationship, and in my life. I understood so much more who he really is, and that he is much more broken than I knew. My natural intuition did not pick up on this, because I was still getting to know the “older” version of him and from a distance. The checking in texts and short phone calls could only go so far, and to top it off, I am one of six. My efforts at times are over-shadowed by whatever’s going on with them. It seems we are going backwards, and the more he punishes himself, the further he’s pushing me away. I don’t think he’s aware of it. Very sad, and is a waste of time, because we had come so far, so I thought…

The expectations I have in life, especially with men in relationships, and even friends and family, have been influenced heavily by my expectations of my father. I’m still checking myself on it. I am aware that I hope for the best, yet subconsciously expect whatever to happen, which is not cool. This situation was significant, because it reminded me that I can not expect others to grow as fast as I expect, regardless of how much I do on my part….

There’s more to share, but I gotta go to bed now, stay tuned for my next blog. Have a Good Night 🙂

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely