I had a small case of writers block the last few days, it’s taken me a few times to come back and complete this blog. I’ve been feeling slightly agitated and anxious, so it’s been difficult for me to write…..
I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated due to family/personal issues, which almost caused me to close up and go into my “shell” so to say. This was a habit I used to have, and I’ve tried my best not to revert back to it.
Years ago my friend told me that I’m “closing doors” on people who care about me. Hearing this hurt me, because I didn’t think I was doing that…..I was keeping to myself, trying to protect myself. I was still dealing with the crazy aftermath of mom’s sudden passing, I felt alone and exhausted. I attempted to explain this to my friend but my reason didn’t hold up, so I listened….
He told me that I’m closing doors for myself, and closing doors on people who actually care about me. I was thinking, do I really?? He said, ” You need to forget those people who are not supporting you. F em! We’re all here waiting for you, there’s doors open for you, people willing to help and support you, but you’re turning your back on us.” I thought to myself, I am doing that. He’s right…..
The only reason I closed up is because felt I wasn’t being heard, and that wasn’t fair on my part, because the friends and family who were hearing me were being locked out. I almost allowed my other relationships to suffer or possibly disintegrate for people who are simply not worth my time…..Closing doors may happen by accident, it’s unintentional, but the time wasted worrying about the wrong people may cost you, those doors may close on you, and when you try to open them, they may be locked for good.
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2 thoughts on “Closing Doors…..”
Its crazy how literally everytime I read one of your nlog posts, I instantly identify myself in what you’re saying. For me, this post takes the cup. I am struggling with this right now and I haven’t been fortunate enough to open up. It would be great to read about how you overcame this 🙂
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Hey Stella 🙂 I’m glad you identify with my blogs. This is something I’m working on everyday, because I’m pretty reserved and shy by nature. One way I look at it is, I have to look at the “upside” of opening up, and what I stand to lose if I don’t. Hence why I said the “doors maybe locked for good.”