I haven’t posted in a while, I meant to, it’s just I haven’t had the chance to complete my thoughts. I’ve been working on this blog for a week, adding to it day by day….I was honestly too tired to complete it, and I don’t feel proud to admit that I was too tired to write…..
I’ve been working from home on my laptop for the last three weeks attending virtual training class. I’ve been learning a lot, and although the hours are long to be sitting at a computer, I don’t mind it. I enjoy the learning process and interacting with the other students is fun as well, but sitting in front of a computer screen for seven hours plus is not easy. If your occupation requires you to sit at a computer all day, it’s difficult for the body to stay alert and concentrate. I was falling asleep the other day, but I was hearing everything going on, taking in everything that was being said. When I woke up from the minutes of slumber, I was able to apply the information and follow the instructions that were given by the teacher, so I wasn’t technically sleeping, but I wasn’t awake either…..I didn’t like the way I felt, so I decided to take a nap on my lunch break. I set my alarm for an hour, and went to sleep…..I was woken up by a text message alert from my friend, and I noticed the time on my phone and saw it was an hour past my time to wake up…..I was horrified!!! My alarm didn’t go off when it was supposed to, I had overslept and now I was going to have to explain this to my trainer. I was worried that I may possibly be kicked out of the class. I contemplated making up an excuse, lying, so I would not have to admit that I overslept. I thought about it, and then messaged my trainer and explained what happened…..He told me it was okay, and I was allowed to join the class. I was relieved, and felt silly for freaking out.
The times in my life that I felt the most tired was not from lack of sleep. It was from worrying, being hard on myself, overthinking, stressing out, and dealing with others negative energy…..Getting eight hours of sleep everyday could not cure those influences. I’ve learned that there are two types
of tired; 1. Feeling emotionally tired 2. Feeling physically tired. In order for me to be able to keep myself healthy, I diagnose myself by acknowledging which type of tired I am when I am feeling very tired. A few years ago I was seeing my doctor regularly because I was experiencing “blacking out” on a regular basis everyday after coming home from the commute to work. The bus ride was four hours in total, and combined with working, I was left literally beat. My doctor questioned me and checked me out to find out if there may be another health issue contributing to this problem. She eventually concluded that I was simply doing “too much” and I had to change my lifestyle ASAP. I told her that I was handling many things on my own in addition to taking care of myself, but I had no other choice. I was still trying to deal with the messy aftermath of my mother’s passing…..She replied by stating to me that regardless of the reasons, I have to take care of myself and my “frame” can’t take the pressure I’m putting on myself. I 100% agreed with her and understood, yet I was apprehensive to actually follow her orders. I felt I wasn’t doing enough, and that I didn’t deserve to take it easy. I had to digest everything that was said to me and woke up the next day with a new perspective……I promised myself that I would not sacrifice sleep for anything, I will try to get at least five hours of sleep regardless of what’s going on in my life, and I will adjust everything else in my life to suit my overall health.
Sleep is more important to me for my inner and outer beauty than any outfit, make-up, jewellery….And I don’t like that tired feeling in my face when I don’t get sleep. I feel heavy and I don’t like the look in my eyes, it’s beyond beauty, I don’t like to look into my eyes and see a drained zombie looking back at me. That’s another reason why my I keep track of my “tiredness.” I know I can’t avoid being tired, but I do have the power to manage it the best way I know how.
It’s 5:00am now, I’m off to bed now, Take care and Enjoy your day 😉
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