It bothers me when people tell me to smile just because I have a neutral or “upset” looking expression on my face. Growing up, it was difficult for me to display my true emotions, because I was afraid I would upset people. I was an honest child, but repressing my true feelings in order to “show face” for others, made me lie. I felt I was a liar when I pushed a smile through, just to appease. I thought that if I showed my real feelings, I’d disappoint them, or make them feel uncomfortable. I was more concerned with their feelings than my own. I’ve harboured resentment about this for years, and for some reason, it continues to happen. Because of my sombre face, a family friend felt the need to tell me to “Smile!” and offer me a hug, in front of everybody. She did not know that I had just heard some sad news about a loved one, hence my sombre face. I yelled out, “See??!” to my relatives in the room,”This is what I’m talking about! Why are people always telling me to smile??? I see people who NEVER EVER smile, and nobody tells them anything!!” I didn’t want her to feel offended, but she has said this to me before. I knew she meant well, so I told her “Sorry, it’s not you, this just bothers me. People have been doing this to me my whole life.” My fam and her, gave me the, “You’re right, but what do you expect?” face, so I left it alone. I walked out of the room and thought, is it my energy? Is it my face? Is it that I always seem happy?? Do they view me as innocent???
I just needed to get that off my chest….It shouldn’t bother you to see a person have their face a certain way. You never know what a person is really going through. You’d be surprised if you ASK, instead of assume and comment. This topic goes much deeper, and I’ll continue in another blog.