lessons

The Worst Customers(Labour Day)…..

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

How did you spend your Labour Day?

I didn’t do much today but clean, chill out and write. Most places are closed anyways, and I’m happy for the day off. I don’t usually go out because I just don’t feel the need to. I’ll spend time with family if they have the time, if not, I spend time alone and relax. Another reason I don’t go out, is that holidays/long weekends can bring out the worst in people, and Toronto is no exception. There were a few shootings unfortunately, my cousin was a witness to one, and suffered a minor injury. This shooting was major, but I didn’t ask about the details. I was annoyed even to hear about it. Going to a party, concert or gathering is a major risk on this holiday. I’m embarrassed to say that. Staying safe and sound is the goal…..

I had to run to store at dark, the only convenience store open around here. As I cashed out the young man at the register, who’s family runs the store, said something that I found extremely ironic. As I asked my total, he was quickly serving another customer, who quickly dashed out of the store. He apologized for not paying me proper attention, and said that people out there are the worst! Then he told me that this holiday brings out the WORST in people. I told him that I understand, and people think you owe them something. Because of the type of store this is, the expect you to do everything for them. In actuality, we NEED this store, and should Respect the folks who run it.

He asked me where I was from, and said that I was “different” and had Respect and manners. I said good night and thought to myself, hmmm….isn’t Labour Day meant to honour workers??? Why treat our fellow worker that way on this holiday??? SMH

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

About Mom(RIP)& Appreciation…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 6 Comments

Mom loved people and she loved life. I saw it in the way she took care of us, and her care for others.

She treated others children as if they were her own, and treated those children equal to her own. Over the years other children stayed with us, and mom’s care for them was consistent.

When my cousins stayed with us, they told me how much they appreciated her, and the way she took care of them. I thought that was very cool.

She appreciated nature and the environment. I saw it in the way she took care of plants and her garden. She taught me that growing your own food is possible, as long as you nurture your soil.

She would cook your favourites upon request, if you asked politely. I used to bring apple crisp and peanut brittle to school for my class mates. They loved it, and told me I was lucky, but it was an everyday thing to me. I appreciated this more after I moved out.

Regardless of how much money we had, mom made sure we ate a cooked meal every night. She always made something out of nothing. Mom could stretch the littlest ingredients to last through the week, I used to think she was a magician.

She would wake up early, even on weekdays to make breakfast for us. I used to wonder how and when she had the energy to get through the day.

I admired her natural beauty, the way she french braided her hair, and still glowed with zero make up. I appreciated the way she took care of my hair, braiding my hair, which taught me to love my natural self…..

I’m sitting here alone in a small, dimly lit contemporary office, high in the sky. Looking down at the busy toronto midtown street that we used to frequent with her. I visioned her walking with a bunch of children around her, pushing a stroller through the crowd. Folks stopping her to ask, “Are they ALL YOURS?!!” and her calmly responding. She never acted rude to strangers who were nosey or curious. She was a married woman, had us in her twenties, and we all share the same father, but folks couldn’t help but assume…Her youthful appearance attracted positive and negative attention. I once asked her, “Doesn’t that get annoying mom???” and she said, “I know their going to do it anyway, so I don’t allow it to get to me….”

My appreciation for her, some of my fondest memories, what I miss about her, and her lessons are ingrained in my soul. I hope she’s resting in peace.

Thanks Mom.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Care For The Fragile…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

I had strange dream last night. The dream felt real. I was conscious of my thoughts and actions. Touch felt real. If you follow my blog, then you know how important dreams are to me. I don’t remember them every night, but when I do, it’s for a reason. I haven’t had a nightmare in while, and this shook me to the core…..

I saw a newborn baby laying on a bench, and nobody was around. It was a ghost town not a person in sight. As I approached, he began to fall though the cracks of the bench! I was horrified! I quickly slipped my hand under the baby’s back, attempting to stabilize him. I was concerned I might hurt him because he was fragile, a preemie. He squirmed in my hand and began to cry. I was relieved because he was responsive, but distraught because I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t pat his back or gently rock him…I stared down at him in despair. Where were the parents???Why didn’t they care???

I couldn’t find a solution to the problem at hand. I felt I failed him, felt like a failure, very sorry for this child…..

As I awoke the dream stayed with me. I reminded myself that it wasn’t real, but the baby’s image was in my eyes. He was weak and fragile and needed protection, but was abandon. He was given up on, left to fend for himself. I guess he was too much of a burden? Maybe I couldn’t save him, but it was worth a try.

I realized what the dream meant after hearing tragic news about a loved one. This dream to me, represented the fragile and delicate, of mind. The people who suffer from mental issues, anxiety, depression, etc. They may need a little support to get by. Doing what you can, and not casting them off could help prevent them from falling through the cracks…
I have more to say on this topic, but I’ll save it for another blog.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

All The Time In The World…..

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I was in a rush, on my way to an important appointment. I needed to renew my health card, I procrastinated long enough. I left on time, but was trying to be as early as possible. As I walked out of the building corridor, an elderly woman in a wheelchair stopped me. She politely asked if I could do her a favour, and within seconds all of these thoughts crossed my mind:

– But of course! I’ll gladly help you!

– I hope this isn’t going to take long!

– I hope it isn’t a complicated favour…..

-I hope I don’t miss my bus!

-I hope this doesn’t make me late!

– This is a government appointment, pre-booked online, there’s no excuse to be late!

– If I’m late, they’ll never let me pre-book another

– I’ve never been to this place, and I’m travelling by ttc, better to be early in case I have difficulty finding it!

– I can’t tell this sweet old lady “No” Look how polite she asked!

– If I’m late, then I’m late. I guess I’ll have to take a number…..

She asked if I could remove her bag from off the back of her chair, and place it in her lap. Quick and simple! I was relieved.

If I was granted all the time in the world, I would still feel there’s not enough. I couldn’t have walked pass that lady in good conscience. I’m still learning to trust in time, instead of sweating it.

By the way, I ended up being on time to my destination.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely

Follow me @:https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely, https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

About “Unfriending”….

~ dawnlovely ~ Leave a comment

A tweet by a friend caught my eye about being “unfriended” on social media. It said something to the tune of, “If a person unfriends you, it means they REALLY don’t “f#$&” with you” and this got me to thinking…..

First off, if we have contact with people in the real world, then social media should only be a SECOND means of communication. Unfortunately social media has become the new medium for socializing, in our daily lives, replacing phone calls and even texting. I’m still not on board with that.

Back in the day when social media was still a new thing, my peers pressured me into getting a Facebook account. They were so excited to reunite with former classmates. I finally gave in and joined, with little enthusiasm, until I started using it. I thought it was pretty cool! But had my reservations. It was weird that people who were not my friend, in high school were sending me repeat friend requests. I treated it as I would in real life, I ignored their request. I didn’t think much of it, it was cyberspace to me, those people couldn’t have cared that much right?

These platforms were fun to use, exciting at the beginning. Social media politics, and “friending” politics were not an issue to me. I didn’t take “unfriending” someone seriously when I first started using social media. Many of my “friends” were people whom I’ve never met, and I’m sure they wouldn’t have noticed if I unfriended them. I thought the purpose of unfriending, was to stop seeing posts on your timeline, that you’d rather not see. With all the random people, unknowns and possible trolls, I considered it asinine. Unfriending, Profiles, and Posts are not people! My friends and loved ones don’t even have to follow me if they didn’t want to. As long as our real life relationship is in tact, I’m okay.

Think twice about the value you place on others, especially friends and family RE social media. Equating your Real relationship, to your social media “likes” from them will never balance out.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

Red Light? Green Light? No?!(Impatience)….

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Remember in kindergarten learning “Look both ways before you cross the street!”? Those words will never leave me, they are permanently embedded in my subconscious. One of life’s safety lessons that are most important for survival. I loved kindergarten for that reason. I couldn’t wait to get out in the world and cross the street on own, that beautiful feeling of independence.

A child’s mind is so precious, I actually thought all the cars would abide by the rules, ALL of the time. Red means STOP, Yellow means WAIT and green means GO! Simple as that. I loved looking out the car window anticipating them changing. The rules seemed fun, but I understood that rules were rules, meant to be followed. Our safety is always MOST important. Unfortunately you grow up, and receive a rude awakening. The first time I saw a car run a red light I was shocked! I could not understand why they would do that, it’s dangerous!!!

So I guess following the rules or the law is an option? My innocent mind equated it to that. Adults do not follow basic rules and regulations. Nowadays crossing the road almost feels like a death wish. People are so impatient! If you live in the city you may be able to relate. I find myself rushing across the road on a green light, because a car is moving up on me. I feel as though I’m in the way! It’s ready to turn and coming full speed, it feels as though we are racing! I could ignore it and walk slow, but my instincts tell me to move quick! I do not trust that my fellow motorist will not hit me. I know too many people who’ve been hit this way, simply because of IMPATIENCE. Nothing more or less. We’ve changed the rules to, “It’s all about MY time”.

I raise my hand to Thank drivers who wait for me to cross. I appreciate that they value my life enough to wait ten seconds. It’s sad to say that a little patience means that much to me.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(It’s a Wrap!)Workplace Shenanigans Story/Rant….

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My first experience in the “corporate world” left a bad impression on me, it reminded me of Jr High, immature games and competitions. In order to maintain my sanity, I would blast my music in my headphones on break, I created a “safe space” until the clock hit nine.
I couldn’t picture myself walking into that environment everyday, regardless of the money. I felt as though I was going backwards, watching adults steal leads from one another, competing for crumbs. The supervisor reminded me of a third grade teacher, he didn’t seem to mind the so-called “friendly competition” which was FAAAR from friendly. As long we reached our daily quota, he was happy, and “team morale” was NOT a priority. It’s all about the MONEY, until we didn’t receive our commission money on time, as a matter of fact, it was MONTHS late, then it was WAR!
The air became thicker, and thicker by the week, and when we had team meetings, I’d be sure NOT to contribute a word. When I was called upon by the Supervisor, I’d shake my head, NO and give the “I’m GOOOOD” face. I waited patiently for the meeting to be over, and hoped the commission drama would end without a strike. By the time we received our monies owed, I was 100 percent sure it was time to go!
On my last day. I silently left, with no announcement. I didn’t need the goodbye party from a bunch of fake people who hate each other. Folks usually aren’t happy for you when you  move on to something better, they tend to be jealous, but hide it under a fake smile…I did meet a few people who are dear friends to me to this day. I considered that the best I got out of my experience.
As I walked out the front doors I thought to myself, “It’s a WRAP!” and I felt as light as a feather. I knew in my heart I was ready for a better way, working from home, building my own home office. It was time for a  big change, the toxic office set me on new path, it was the encouragement I needed. I probably wouldn’t have explored my options had I not went though all of that. Regardless of  what you do to make a living, your energy is priceless, know when it’s time to go!

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

(There’s More)Workplace Shenanigans Story/Rant….

~ dawnlovely ~ 1 Comment

I told myself I would never stay at a job where I wasn’t respected, but I guess that was easy to say because I was a teen, still under my mother’s care. Maybe if I was in her shoes, I would tolerate that type of behaviour, maybe I would put feeding my family above all. I always thought to myself, how much BS could I tolerate for money??? As I gained more experience, I learned my tolerance level and boundaries in the workplace, and they were the same as my boundaries outside of work. I attribute that to my upbringing, the values that my parents instilled in me. I haven’t and couldn’t bring myself to bend them, regardless of how much money I was making. No wage was worth my soul. In a worst case scenario, if I was having a serious problem, I’d ask my mother for advice before making a move. I’d ignore the BS, until I was able to sit down with the a supervisor or management. I would only take my concerns to HR if it were absolutely necessary. I prided myself on never having to go to HR, for any drama-related reasons, but of course, someone had to try me and ruin my clean record!

I remember my first week starting a new position at the head office of a very large company. The office was huge, with a call centre, the largest I’d ever worked in. At first it was overwhelming with all the people crammed into one space separated only by “dividers”. I sat at my cubicle with my trainer trying to concentrate on what he was teaching me, I was super focused, blanking out the noise and movement around me. Learning many new computer applications, was challenging, but I was very excited to be catching on quickly. My trainer and I were bonding, and having fun, and I was doing amazing with my calls. Out of the blue, a coworker who I did not know, approached us and started ranting. She was saying that we were making too much noise, and our “joking” would get us in trouble with management. We actually were not loud at all, so I was confused as to what provoked her to get up and talk to us in that tone. She seemed annoyed, and she was also neglecting her job by getting up to interrupt us. I was bewildered, so I asked my trainer, “What is she talking about??!” he looked at me puzzled. I could tell he was trying not to aggravate the situation. I was annoyed and I didn’t want to cause a scene, considering I was new. Low and behold our supervisor walks up and asks her to come with him, and I thought to myself, HERE WE GO! I couldn’t just get through my first week without something stupid happening. Drawing negative attention to myself was NOT my intention, I didn’t even know what the hell was going on. My trainer told me not to worry, he said the woman was wrong for approaching us, and that I did nothing wrong. I was upset and confused, I didn’t want to go upstairs and speak to HR. I was focused on learning, that’s all!

Call me naive, but the thought of a grown ass woman being jealous of my success never crossed my mind…It took my trainer and others to explain to me that my success in gaining “sign ups”, was the motivation for her actions. I was truly hurt, and my guard went up like a coat of armour from that day forward. Some consider me “sensitive” for taking that  very seriously, but I don’t. There was no need for this woman to bother me, especially during my training. Although I didn’t get in trouble, I made it VERY clear while speaking to HR that I want them to keep that trouble making woman away from me. I saw the petty, jealous, foolish behaviour exuded in an environment that was supposed to be “professional” and my first impression was a lasting one…Stay tuned for my next blog.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

 

(Con’td)Workplace Shenanigans Story/Rant…..

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Picking up from where I left off…

Dealing with tension/conflict with co-workers in the office, almost feels the same as dealing with family. Not everyone in a family gets along, or sees eye to eye, but since you are related, you are obligated to get along with them regardless of how unreasonable they may be. This also applies to dealing with your co-workers, and you may spend MORE time with them than with your own family. If there are any unresolved issues, it can put a major damper on the working environment, which affects the whole team. I always considered myself to be team player, being that I am a twin from a family of six, however I do believe one bad apple can spoil a bunch. All it takes is ONE unbearable person who brings their home problems to work, to make an eight hour shift can feel like it’s never going to end. What really baffles me, is people who go out of their way to bother and harass their fellow co-workers. The stories I’ve heard from others regarding work place drama and shenanigans, always sounded like something out of a TV show, but they are as true as can be.

With all the problems in the world, and all the problems that we all deal with at home, why make life harder than it has to be??? It doesn’t make sense to purposely give your colleague a hard time at work, or attempt to sabotage them, when you are all pretty much on the same playing field. Petty High school jealousy games are played the most in the work environment. I never expected that when I first started working at a grocery store at the age of fifteen, there were so many weird conflicts and I felt very uncomfortable witnessing it. One of my co-workers, a grown woman, old enough to be my mother was being mistreated by teenagers who were my age. She also had a son around my age who worked with us as well, which made it even more awkward and strange to me. I come from a culture and era, where we  respected our elders. I had no idea what she could have done to warrant that type of treatment, so I sat back and observed…..One day my co-worker started venting to me in the back room, as we cleaned the bar-b-que equipment. She told me that most of our team didn’t respect her, and their energy was very negative. She continued to tell me that I was different than the rest, because I treated everyone with respect. She was crying, and I wasn’t sure what to say, because I didn’t really know her. She seemed like a very tough person based off of what I saw, I was shocked to see her cry over these people. Then I realized that this was her Full Time job, and her son was around, so she had to protect him. I thought quitting would be my first choice. I couldn’t fathom dealing with the type of bulls*** every single day, but I was just a teen, this job was her main source of income. Leaving would obviously NOT be her first option.

I truly sympathized with her,  and based off of that experience, I told myself I would NEVER stay at a job where I wasn’t respected…There’s more to come on this topic, stay tuned.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W

 

Workplace Shenanigans Story/Rant…..

~ dawnlovely ~ 2 Comments

I’ve never been one for “workplace drama” and I feel silly sharing this story, because I thought I was at a point in my life where I wouldn’t have to deal with petty workplace shenanigans and jealousy.  I was completely shocked and blind-sighted, but the beauty is,  it taught me an important lesson when it comes to the value of my time and what it TRULY means to make a living…

I recall going into a tedious job, chill and in a great mood, but others would actually ask, “Why are you so happy?!” I consider that a very rude question. Am I not supposed to smile and be happy at work, because you are miserable??? My laid back, stay to myself demeanor, always attracted the wrong attention. Some of my fellow co-workers shared with me, that they felt I didn’t “like” them, simply because I chose to sit and eat my lunch by myself. I hate talking when I’m eating! My break is for ME, why do I have to sit with you and socialize??? I was sitting at my cubicle beside you for hours already!

I’ve never felt the need to tear down a co-worker, in order to make myself look better to the higher ups. I always dressed, talked and walked like myself at the office. The “peer pressure” in the corporate world couldn’t change me. I never felt the need to suck up to the boss in order to be elevated to a better position. I’ve heard people say, “Oh that’s just the way it is in the office” and I think, well if that’s the way it is, then I choose to NOT participate. The water-cooler talk never interested me either. I chose to work from home for YEARS because I couldn’t swallow the cut- throat nature of the corporate world. People used to ask me if I ever got lonely working from home on my own, and my response was NO! I loved the peace and quiet, it’s way easier to focus on work without gossip and chatter an ear shot away. I considered it torture trying to focus, while hearing my co-worker whine and complain about her boyfriend’s mother. It was even worse when I tried my best to pretend I didn’t hear a thing, and she’d try to pull me into the conversation. Then I had to answer WHY I didn’t feel like talking, which hurt her feelings, or made her  dislike or resent me, when my intentions were purely to do my job! Dealing with tension in the office  is very annoying, because you KNOW you’re going to have to face these people the next day. It’s as though  they are family you are forced to deal with:(….. There’s more, stay tuned for my next post.

Love&Respect,

~Dawn Lovely Follow me @ :https://twitter.com/iamdawnlovely ,https://t.co/wfctLWHJ1W